I know being stuck in Italy does not seem to be an overwhelming problem.  But there is something about getting to the airport when the vacation is over and the desperation to get home.  That and flying is just a total pain in the ass.  This trip to Italy on United seemed to be the most disorganized service I have ever experienced…that and the stewardesses were bitches for the most part…and for all being the same airlines…they don’t seem to have the same rules.  The one that pissed me off the most: in my attempt to be a good little guest on their flippin’ airline, we were informed we would have to fill out the welcome to America form declaring what we had purchased abroad.  I pulled out my pen and it was leaking all over.  In the minute it took to realize I had an ink problem, I had it on both hands, arms and face.  I asked the stewardess for some trash…she said she couldn’t do it right now that I could get up and put it in the restroom trash…all while she was standing beside me with the refreshment cart 3 steps for her to the restroom and me having to unlatch my required seat belt, lift myself out of the seat, open the bathroom door (which is exactly what I had to do).  Next time, I will lay it on the little table and stain it up then perhaps stow it in the seat pocket ahead of me or drop it on the floor and wipe my hands on the seat.  Seriously.  I couldn’t get my carryon completely…COMPLETELY under the seat in front of me…I was on my 5th flight with United…the friendly stewardess bitch who had been by 3 times stopped and said…YOU CAN”T USE THAT FOR A FOOT REST that I would need to check it if it wouldn’t fit…I pulled it out and handed it to her and the bitch said…WELL…IT IS A LITTLE LATE NOW…I gave her that Okay…I’m tired and pissed, I’m going to kill you.  She took it from me and jammed it in the overhead…Then there is the row 26 dilemma – We were in a 7 row plane.  He and I were on either side of the center 3 seats.  There were his servers on his side and my servers on my side.  For some unknown reason..my side completely missed the 26th row…when his got to our row..I asked her for a sandwich…she said…YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE THEY WILL GET TO YOU EVENTUALLY…then she handed me a sandwich.  The other folks in row 26th had to ask for their sandwiches from the right stewardess for God’s sake.  They did not get a verbal response…she just walked back to the back, got their sandwiches and handed them out.  Good God – what service.

4 of our 5 United flights were delayed by 45 minutes to an hour.  The one delay that irritated me most occurred when we arrived 3 hours early in Italy.  The plane was there when we arrived, after an extended time, they herded us on with cattle prods with screams of hurry up, we need to make up time.  I totally understood Newark, NJ snafu…the dilemma of the United flight gate change – the plane we were going to have to take, just flew in from Mexico to another gate…customs was going to have to go thru it before we could board…okay…I get it…when we got on – it was learned that it needed to be cleaned and they had to work on the radar…I already had the bad feeling about the drug lords who had flown in from “Mexico”..*said with distaste.

OMG…AA and Delta were cussed by me in the past..nothing compares to the asses at United Airlines.

Okay…I got this off my chest…