As I continue to struggle with:

I woke up this morning with the very strong reality check that perhaps self-esteem is voided by “christians” because as we trust God for everything, meanwhile thank God for everything, it negates the principal of success = building self-esteem because christians DON’T accomplish it – God does.  CHA-CHING – reality check.

This kind of goes along with my question – with christians praising God for everything, I seem to be missing out on what christians think about prayer that they perceive isn’t answered…or is it that every prayer that isn’t answered the way the “prayer” wants/expects is God saying NO?  I’m having a hard time with the how God healed someone…and didn’t heal someone else and they died..yet a lot of these folks believe God has a plan; they have learned that God knows how many hairs are on their head; yet believe that we have free will to make our own decisions; yet they have learned that God has a plan…so if this is true, why don’t we believe that us earthlings are just perceived as robots of the almighty because God knows what is going to happen before it happens and…….yet when we ask God to help us make the decision – we have a 50/50 chance of making the God like decision and if it is the 50 percent negative – where was God in helping to make the decision according to his plan?  Once again I say – Praise God for the rain but if you truly believe God has a plan…why aren’t we praising God for the drought…it certainly has nothing to do with our own thinking and free will…or does it…perhaps farmers have been bad and this is their punishment…but then there are those that say that doesn’t happen because God wants only what is good for us according to his plan so YES as a matter of fact, we need to be thanking God for the drought!!!!  Confusing to read, perhaps..but is the process of my thinking and once again leads me to ask…

Just thoughts… If you are going to give me the speel about just having faith…please don’t bother to leave a comment…I haven’t believed in the just have faith thing for a very long time.

Until next time…

10 thoughts on “As I continue to struggle with:

  1. I think you would enjoy reading Anne Lamott’s Traveling Mercies,  she rocks in my book 


  2. @suzyQ_darnit – @tracy – @Still_groovy – @strawberryfieldsgirl – @Ninasusan – You know, I don’t have a problem with praying for little Timmy to get an A because I guess my prayers are less about praying to an old spirit guy in a white robe than putting good energy out there but I guess I still really believe in a all powerful spirit. I did just get monumentally pissed off when I was reading a prayer request from a friend who might have a tumor at the people responding to her saying, “Praise God – He is in control.” Well, if he is in control and he just gave you a tumor that is a pretty mean thing to do to you.” I understand their theology – I was very heavily into it when I was a twentysomething.”I think my positive thoughts are someone else’s prayers so I just work with them and go with their terminology. I wholeheartedly believe in positive thoughts and energy. Do I think that will heal my friend who might have a tumor or my brother who has cancer. Who knows? Probably not but it doesn’t hurt them and probably helps me so I go with it.Many people who believe in God tend to put him into a very small box which I find kind of ridiculous if they truly He is an all powerful being. I think God kind of thinks we are funny that way. And as for atheists, well, your beliefs are much more logical than mine but something in me just can’t give up my belief in God. BTW, I still worry about things grabbing my feet at night if they hang over the bed so there you go!   And that mini goes out to all of you!


  3. I’ve never really formed a philosophy about this except that I think there are many ways to worship, and I would never think there was one “right way” and that everyone else would go to Hell. I had a friend once who said she struggled with the one thing that bothered her about her church; if you had ever even heard about her religion but did not join, you were doomed to Hell. The thing that has always bothered me is that our interpretation of God would always be flawed and imperfect, being that we, as humans, are flawed and imperfect. I don’t understand how any one, or any one religion, can claim to be God’s Spokesperson. But, having said that, I think that religion is important as a reaffirmation of the goodness in all of us, and that we need to strive for more. Without the prompt of religion, I shudder to think of the actions of most people. It is bad enough what is done in the NAME of religion. There is no room for hatred, I should think. One example of the “religion effect”, I have seen. When we walk our bike trail, on a Sunday everyone will meet your eyes, smile, and say “hello” – something that doesn’t happen any other time that I have noticed. I think it is because people are being more mindful of the way they should be to their fellow man.One thing I wonder is if it is connected to something I read recently about people planning for retirement. People don’t do that well, for the most part, because they simply don’t put themselves in the context of planning “for the future”. But if they are told to actively imagine that what they are doing now will benefit themselves, imagine themselves actually using the money they are saving, it suddenly becomes personal and they are more likely to plan well. So imagine that as far as controlling present behaviour, you are told that if you behave well, you will have a great reward; I can see that as a good motivator for some people. But also, I believe that many religions appeal to the best that is in us, and remind us that we can be, that we ARE, that person; here on this earth. It never hurts, at least in my own case, for that reminder. :)So I am glad to pray throughout the day, for good things big and small, to wish the best for my fellow man, that I might find very hard to tolerate on a day-to-day basis, to hope for being that better person, myself.Enough of my ramblings! Bet you get the longest comments ever on this one!


  4. You have posted my exact thoughts on this subject.  I came to the conclusion years ago that folks who follow the “god’s plan” notion must believe in a very small, mean and petty diety.  The one who prays best gets the pirze.It must be very frightening to have such a petulant being for a chess master.No wonder some are so hateful.  Fear often manifests in anger.


  5. I agree that it’s an intensely personal journey.   I’m not a fan of “organized religion” at all.  I grew up in it and I walked away from it, actually ran, as soon as I was able.  it has perverted and twisted God/Love/Devil/Hate over the years to something probably unrecognizable from the origninal intention and it has become more about power and control than about love and service to our fellow humans.  I don’t believe there is any harm in asking for or going to prayer for any reason or having “faith” or being thankful.  Nor do I personally feel as though God would want me to feel the least big self conscious about being happy and feeling great about my successes or would want me continuously flogging myself over my failures.  But – that’s just me.  It’s a personal thing.  I don’t think there’s any room in “it” for Hate or intolerance or Fear.  It’s about the Love.  Like anything – it can all be taken out of context and twisted to suit anyones desires.  Again – like a political lean or point of view – you have to know why you personally believe the way you do and you don’t really have to answer to anyone else for it – because it’s your personal deal.   


  6. Singing my song again.Every time you, or anyone I guess, starts talking about faith, and divine will and “the plan” I just get mad all over again at the people who post on Facebook to please pray that little Timmy gets an A on his math test! Whatever.


  7. I like your thinking.  I agree that there is quite a discrepancy between God giving us free will but then everything that happens was done by God…it doesn’t make sense (I sound like that guy on “Laugh In” – can’t think of him, who said “Verrrry interestink.  But it doesn’t make sense!”)  Henry Gibson?  Ha, I am rambling, but that guy just popped into my head!  I think I look at things more from my own will, because my mother always was saying “God helps those who help themselves.”  Not sure if that is totally true, but it did make me think that I couldn’t just sit there and wait for something to happen to me.  Thanks for stopping by my site.  I’d enjoy hearing from you, as I see you on Tracy and MB’s sites all the time and enjoy your comments!Kathi


  8. @strawberryfieldsgirl – Thanks for adding to my blog!!!  I totally agree with you and the good vibes thing.  That will be a future blogspot for me 🙂  I so believe in the energy…and I really believe that our “prayer” – mine anyway – is not to a man in a white robe, I believe it is akin to meditation and sending out positive vibes.  I, so believe in the energy.  I’m just not believing anymore in the organized/guilt ridden/do what I say religion and thousands of years ago, the words put on paper which I believe the writers really believed were inspired by their God – yet wasn’t really written by their GOD.  Fear in general is what I think drives organized religion.  My cousin posted on Facebook after reading this blog that he believes God and Devil have always been misspelled – Good and Evil.  I’ll close this chapter now before I bore you to tears.  Thanks for posting!!!


  9. Hey if you live long enough, you see enough to question everything. I have thoughts about alot of those things. I think of some of my older relatives who have “faith” and I have come to the conclusion that it’s just a real personal thing, derived from personal experiences. I have it myself…from my own personal experiences. And i send out prayers for ppl all the time. Heck I would almost sound like one of the conservative Christians if I told you that I kind of talk to “God” all the time in just the course of a day. But I am so far from that. When I send out prayers, I think of it as sending out vibes to a certain person/happening/place. I think of it like a collective conciousness where the more positive unseen vibes being sent in one direction can make a difference. I’m not praying to a man in white robe…I’m praying to Idk how to put it..a higher plane of thoughts and feelings….anyway this is why I think that ppl don’t really “talk” about it…cuz it’s so hard to put into words and it really is easier to just say I have “faith”. And I don’t expect things to always go the way i want, I’m just grateful when they do.. And when I talk to my “God” I also talk to him like a friend..I’m not trying to be all proper and get the words right, I just say what’s on my mind…Idk, it seems to help “me” but a lot of that could just be the way I was raised too. And I was raised a  very liberal Episcopalian…that probably helped a lot LOL  Plus there’s this…we all think OUR life is SO important…and it IS, to US. But when you get right down to it, we get maybe if we’re lucky (or unlucky depending on how you look at it) 100 years. And that is nothing in the course of time….so what are we here for, what differences can we make, what do we do while we’re here….these are the kinds of things that go thru my head….cuz we’re not gonna be here that long and only a few things we do here will matter after we’re long gone form our present lives. We WEREN;T always here anyway. Where were you before you were born? Can you imagine not having the kids you have in your life? But you didn’t always. Where were they before they were here?  Yeah we all have to come to our own conclusions about all that stuff…we all have our own personal journey and it’s so personal it’s kind of hard to even talk about.But enough about me lol I think your post was really about the “Moral majority”, The Conservative Christian Born Again or Spend eternity in the bowel of hellfire” and THAT IMHO is just a cult thing. Where ppl do what they do for a reward at the end. And that’s just sad.OMG Have I talked enough??!! Sorry to post a blog on your blog!


  10. Have faith Nina! Just kidding, you know me better than that. Fall down a well? That was God’s plan. Have a beautiful new grandchild? That was God’s plan. Get explosive diarrhea? That was God’s plan. On and on and on. I don’t understand how any rational person can believe someone in the sky is watching us and keeping track of us and having an effect on us at all times. Unless it’s Santa Claus, that guy’s totally real. 


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