Apparently, my subconscious mind has taken the scenic route away from my conscious mind…first time ever I had panic attacks in the middle of the night… I went to bed early with the headache I had all afternoon and evening and quite irritable…in fact i went to bed early so he didn’t have to put up with me and I didn’t jump down his throat for the way he was breathing… I followed the night before’s new game of waking up every hour at the 15 minute mark…then around 1? I ripped off my cpap mask because I couldn’t breath..hmm something wrong with the machine…then I put the mask back on – nothing seemed different but I couldn’t breath…an hour later, same thing, only this time I was reallly afraid because i couldn’t breath, I had to get out of the bed…I was scared and on the verge of crying… I turned on the computer and tried to do a little farming on Farmville…too much..I didn’t want to do that…then my breathing was okay and then I couldn’t breath again…I toyed with the fact that maybe I was having one of those silent female heart attacks…I couldn’t feel my pulse…maybe I should take a tylenol PM – they knock me out — but if there is a problem, I might not wake up. Went back to bed and as soon as I layed down, I couldn’t breath again but I forced myself to lay there 5 minutes, put on the cpap and at sometime I slipped back into sleep… I’m not working today…still have the headache – breathing is fine but I’m right on the edge of crying my eyes out…I try to rationalize what is wrong…there isn’t anything wrong. Think I’m going to write down on a piece of paper the things I’m worried about…and there is quite a list…but there are some really good things going on in my life…hopefully one list will cancel out the other list…
Until next time…
Ninasusan 
Poor Nina. I’m sorry it was so bad. It does sound like a panic attack to me too. Corey use to have panic attacks at night too. He keeps a bottle of xanax next to the bed now. I hope your headache is better, no one should have a panic attack and a headache at the same time. That’s just evil.
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Oh Nina – do you have medicine for panic attacks? If you don’t, you should ask your doctor. The stuff works in about an hour. If I remember correctly panic attacks kind of mimic heart attacks but when you take the medicine you will feel relief if it is a panic attack but not if it is a heart attack.I have an iPod and was able to download an app from Mayo Clinic for guided meditation. I use that sometimes when I get panic-y. Maybe something like that would help you. In the middle of the night everything seems worse. I hope you are feeling better today.
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