Ninasusan

Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

Who am I, really

Facebook has reminded me of a very minor irritation that ocassionally surfaces for no particular reason…that minor irritation involves taking the man’s name when you marry.  I did it, and if I had it to do all over again, I would probably do it…but why..just because that is the way it has always been done…hmmm

I notice Facebook user females many times list their names out like Nina Green Brown…yes my maiden name was Green…I don’t do that because it looks and sounds ridiculous…I even know that some women replace their given “middle” name with their maiden name…I like that idea but once again I wouldn’t do it because it looks and sounds ridiculous. 

So…however old you are when you get married, prior to that date you have been known as one name and after that date you are now known as something else and have to expend lots of energy to get your name changed on proper documents…now does this sound like the right thing to do for reasonably sane women I ask you.  Hyphenating last names has always irritated me because of the job I’m in…do you know how difficult it is to find Nina Green-Brown in the driver’s license files in the other 49 states…okay..damn near impossible.  It is difficult enough to deal with hispanic names and hyphens but they at least make sense.

The big question here is why does a woman have to change her name when she gets married…can you see us telling a man that you have been Joe Blow for 32 years; but not anymore bucko – now we are going to change your name to Joe Doe…ya that almost makes me laugh at the stress it would cause them. 

A minister couple in town at the local presbyterian church took each other’s names and hyphenated it..they served the same congregation which called them by their first names…that didn’t work because they got a divorce and went their separate ways…she stayed, he went…but it is kind of gratifying that he should have as much headache changing his name back as she does changing  her name back.

I don’t expect my little blog here on Xanga is going to change the way things are done, but by golly, I got my two cents in.  By the way.  Yes…my maiden name was Green…but to go one step further, my mother, Helen had Brown for a maiden name…can you imagine if she would have hypenated and then I hypenated…I would be Nina Susan Brown-Green-Green-Brown.  Joe Blow-Doe has nothing to bitch about!!

Until next time

3 responses to “Who am I, really”

  1. THat would be a great last name!   Okay – I was married fresh out of high school.  I ran away…long story short it didn’t last very long, perhaps a minute or two – so I changed my name and then back again quickly.  Married again to the JA….changed it again then back again after we eventually divorced.  I was bound and determined to never ever change it again and what did I do?  Up and married in August and yup.  I changed it.  OMG!  WHY?  I still don’t even know.  It doesn’t bug me though and I’m pretty much a pro at changing it to and from by now!  LOL!  Sad but true…….I get what you mean though. 

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  2. I hyphenated when I got married. I did it mostly because when you have different last names, people don’t assume you’re married, they just assume you’re living together. And now that we have kids, if we had different last names, then people would assume we we’re divorced and I had remarried, or that we had never gotten married in the first place. It has its ups and downs though. My married name is Miranda Beverly-Gill, which I think sounds alright, but I have had some trouble with it. Like when I got to pick up my photos, and they ask for your last name, and I very carefully say, “my LAST NAME is Beverly-Gill, WITH A HYPHEN, they still automatically go for the G’s. Because Beverly is also a first name. But I had similiar problems before I got married, when my name was just plain old Miranda Beverly, because Beverly is a first name, and Miranda is a last name in spanish. People always thought it was reversed. The lady at the DMV had a very hard time wrapping her head around it. But I like my name anyway. It’s unique. Both my kids just have Gill as a last name, to make it easier for them. But I did give my daughter Beverly as a middle name.I do know a couple I went to school with that combined both their names, so now both of them are Friesen-Meyers, but I wonder what will happen if they have a daughter with their combined last name, and then she gets married? Where does it end??  🙂 You can look for me on Facebook! Miranda Beverly-Gill. I’m in Indiana.Have a nice day!-Miranda

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  3. I changed my name (and now have changed it back — whoohoo) but the reason was for a difference. In middle eastern culture a woman does NOT change her name to her husband’s. They keep their father’s names. I kept mine, to honor his culture, and took his to honor him and our tradition. Sappy now I know — especially considering the trouble I’ve had for over 20 years. The name Soleimani has been pronounced Salami and many others. My files have been filed under my 1st last name, my 2nd last name or in both names. Never can find me when I go to the doctors, or the courts or whatever I’m doing. I’m so happy to have just my name back, but it’s sad for me, nevertheless.

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