I was out on the deck this morning repotting hens and chicks when I heard him walking through the yard from the trail. 60 degrees…nice breeze….lots of sunshine. Exactly the kind of fall day I would have celebrated from a deck chair last year. It just didn’t happen this year. I regrettably spent nearly an entire summer puttering in the house. At first, I started down the long and winding trail of thought and irritation with myself….why did I do that…what was wrong with me?
But this time, I did not accept the invitation to the pity party. I accepted the fact that I spent most of the summer in the house puttering .. obviously, exactly what I chose to do….and I did not should myself.
But today, I decided that I wanted to spend some time outside. I walked around the pond…I felt the breeze in my hair, got a little warm wearing my sweatshirt….and I realized with a lot of joy there is still a lot of “now” available to me somewhere out there appreciating the beauty of one of my favorite months.
Little surprises were peeking through confirming it’s not over until it’s over!
I’ve felt a bit off center this week…maybe related to but not entirely because of staying home and avoiding COVID and more importantly the talk about COVID. The constant blah blah blah, the anger, the dissension…Facebook, worldwide, family, friends. I just refuse to be paralyzed with fear; yet, I refuse to rip off my clothes and nakedly confront it. I have learned healthy respect over the years and this is the time to show respect…respect of guidelines issued by the medical community just because my ego may want to yell and scream about some perceived rights I might have over the next human….I prefer respect….kindness!
Sadly this is the last picture of the happy family. I took it while on a walk yesterday after I watched the baby dining under the bird feeders.
Jr was missing this morning. We did have more geese fly in raising a ruckus. I assume they will be tenants and not just visiting from a neighboring pond. Im guessing we won’t have anymore babies this season because I think mating season is over. Although you wouldn’t know it by the strutting going on. I felt a loss when we realized Jr wasn’t around.
I found this cluster of iris yesterday by a bridge along the trail.
#gratitude to the person who planted them so neighbors could find them!
The weekend is upon us. At least I think it is, I really would need to confirm with my calendar but let’s just go with it.
We noticed this morning that the geese are flying. Feathers have grown back and our little goose family of 6 will be dipping their feet in other neighborhood ponds. I will miss their daily visits to the grounds below the bird feeder…but this is the time of year when I enjoy the cacophony when they are landing as they settle in for the evening back home. I’m also relieved that the 8 weeks are over and Thursday I should be released from the boot.
The weather has cooled, the cicadas are loud, he’s picking up sticks before he mows
And I’m just going to sit around with the breeze in my hair …. maybe finish my book “Loving Frank”. Well researched biography about Frank Lloyd Wright told from the perspective of his long time mistress, Mamah Borthwick. I’m now all up into everything Frank Lloyd Wright and making plans to visit Illinois, Wisconsin and Arizona museums and landmarks.
But for today….I’m enjoying the view from the deck and feeling grateful.
As an explanation to those of you who have chosen not to work in the emergency services business i.e. 911,EMS, Police, Fire, Nurses, you are lucky that you do not have to really get to know the humans that are actually not quite at the top of the food chain. I’m talking about the people who absolutely cannot function on a daily basis without the help of one of the aforementioned services. I’m not talking about what we accept as normal society. Not arguing whether it is their fault or their parent’s fault or the fault of a substance they choose to use. After a 30 year career as a 911 dispatcher, I’m still bitter.
With that being said.
I have heard many jokes from cops, on the threshold of retirement, threaten dispatchers that they are going to sit on the porch and call 911 every time a stray dog walks in their yard. Why is this funny, you ask. Because this is the life of cops and dispatchers…this is acceptable behavior from those people I was talking about who absolutely cannot function on a daily basis without the help of emergency services and feel they have the right to clog the emergency system with their 911 to the detriment of someone who may be dying in a house fire. ….and quite frankly, these people are not held in very high regard…so this is not so much funny but a gallows type humor, so to speak.
So….I was sitting on the deck yesterday watching the geese on the pond….as they landed on land, they started creeping up into the yard … one little step-peck at a time until they were no longer on HOA yard but MY YARD.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, GOOSE?
I love the geese who have made their home here in the neighbor…I just don’t love the evidence left in my yard once they step-peck-honk back to the water. First, I thought about calling one of my old 911 peers and telling them there are geese in my yard – send a cop….and then I wanted to call the HOA President (who also happens to be a 911 dispatcher here) and tell him that I want these geese required to carry poop (oh NO there is that word again) bags to clean up after themselves. But, I didn’t. I just enjoyed the little scenario playing around in my head!
All of this because I’m retired, recovering from surgery and apparently don’t have enough to do!
Today I’m easily irritated. Not feeling overly great…Just below mid-sternum I have a muscle that causes me great pain when I do some things. I have no idea what those some things are going to be. And if I continue doing those things for 1/2 second I get a pulling, tearing type pain that pisses me off so much I have to reach up and be sure there is no gas exiting my ears….having taken a U turn because it could not get out the correct exit route.
My pain pills have become worthless for this pain for some reason……and my absolutely perfect him…aka the pill nazi…seems to be having a cannot compute day because logically – this is suppose to happen and this is supposed to happen…and it isn’t happening. I know he is trying to save me from myself but today should have been one of those days I lock myself in the bedroom with the internet and TV remote and stew in my own juices.
So…I’m cancer free….I didn’t expect this short fuse to anger…Here’s my table next to the davenport in the living room.
I watched nearly a whole season of of Grace and Frankie on Netflix…I sat outside and appreciated the beauty of my flowers.
I sat on the deck and watched the peacefulness of the geese.
and in an hour I was back inside because of rain and wind.
That’s been my day…now my daughter has just suggested I might need to take some xanax.