owning decisions….

We learn something from everything we do and have done from birth.  Most of us don’t learn from other people’s mistakes…because details of everyone’s circumstances are different?  Because what works for one person may not work for someone else?  Because interpretation of right and wrong, good and bad are different for each person?  Challenges are construed differently depending on your storybook.

Decisions we make can be as simple as clicking on a well-worded link on the Internet.  it can bring enlightenment or spam that will haunt forever.  There is no geek squad to save us from our bad decisions.   Somehow we get through it….and we learn another life lesson…..how we channel that lesson, good or bad, is a direct result of our past experiences.

I’ve been known to bemoan the fact that some people make stupid mistakes over and over again.  What  is wrong when someone continues to dig themselves in deeper and deeper in muck.  They can’t get out, they can’t figure out what they are doing wrong.  How does it look thru their eyes.  Do they see themselves as being buried because of circumstances beyond their control or bad luck or are they simply happy in their circumstances and don’t recognize things could be different?   The most important question is…who am I to judge another’s life?

My new strategy or thinking process is directing me to continue on my path…I will listen to what other say….really listen…if I find it is the wrong path, I can turn around…mark the path with a flag and be on my way.  I may come to the same crossroad again…and this time it may be the right path to choose.  Things change,  life continues to evolve and only I am responsible for the decisions I make…..and the consequences of those decisions are mine to own.

Until next time….

I wish I had…….

Who doesn’t occasionally wish they had done something different in their past.  It creeps up on me every now and then.  My one solid regret is not continuing my education…I always come back to it.  Mostly it centers around what I could have done with my life if I had gotten a degree..I could have…. (fill in the blank).

A Facebook post this morning took me in deeper – especially when I read a lot of the comments.  It was a blackboard with the words “What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?   On the surface, I agreed with a lot of the responses…but as I really started thinking about it – what would I really change.  Because if I changed something, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and would not have had the great experiences I did have.  Yes, I know, that person would probably be happy and living a fulfilled life too…but what if?

Starting when I was 18 and officially making my own decisions what if I had gone on to college and obtained that coveted degree.  I’m sure I would never have met Gena and the best thing she EVER did for me was introducing me to him….I wouldn’t have the same daughters..I wouldn’t have had the same amazing career I had and I probably would not be retired at 58.  There would have been another life with other friends and other families and other REGRETS and other DISAPPOINTMENTS and LAUGHTER and LOVE.  But theoretically it would have been the same basic play with just different actors and actresses.  Logically, I know this to be true…but it hit me in a much deeper spot and it may have been one of those “AHA” moments in my life that will change the way I think about things.

I didn’t do things different…I am me and I have what I have…move on and love the life you have built on the decisions you made and the experiences you had.

Until next time…..

Uneasy decisions.

I question a lot.  I’ve always questioned a lot.  Sometimes I don’t question the right things…like sometimes I hook my little red wagon to the wrong pole.  I’ve been burned many times – so I”m beginning to second guess myself a lot when I hear disparaging remarks about someone.  I usually hold on and don’t move away quickly but my eyes are open for approaching kicks in the butt.  I”m also painfully impulsive.  I’ve always thought it was just making quick decisions…and figured I had chosen the perfect career as a 911 dispatcher because you don’t have time to weigh all of the facts..you make a decision and you make a decision now.  Maybe the impulsive thread made me a better dispatcher….and maybe dispatching exacerbated my impulsiveness.

Then ….. on the other hand…I question how you know if you are making an impulsive decision…do I need to take a week to agonize over a decision…I have friends who make picking a paint chip an event…I guess it actually matters the most how life changing the decision is….I like my impulsiveness and I don’t like my impulsiveness…sounds like I’m right there in the middle…using Ninasusan logic, anyway.