Ninasusan

Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

anxiety

  • OMG WHAT WAS THAT

    Sitting on the couch this morning, I “felt” a small tremor….like when several cats on a mission jumps off the back of the couch or someone drops a heavy object in another part of the house or like when dynamite detonates at one of the two nearby quarries…..I sat for a moment waiting for the Read more

  • MATH IS HARD….but so is life….

    It seems I may have dumped a lot of something in my dream state last night…I woke up recognizing a clarity I have not had for the last few weeks…it’s not like I haven’t realized where my irritation, anger, judgement, hopelessness, and fear were percolating from…but, quite frankly, the more I rationalized and gave my Read more

  • I miss the simpler times

    ….and by simpler, I mean the last year… I woke up loaded for bear this morning (not something I need to mention…waking up soft and gentle would be actual news). THIS morning, I went quickly to writing my Morning Pages which has become easier this week because I recognize the need to get “whatever it Read more

  • I AM WHAT I AM

    I have been thinking it was retirement that has taken the pressure off. The pressure of no longer entertaining the belief that I’m not as smart or as worthy as everyone else…mentally living in my head believing that because I didn’t pursue a college educated career I wasn’t as good as or as worthy as Read more

  • Where I find myself this Friday afternoon

    Or at least I think its Friday…quite frankly, I really have no idea what day it is anymore. COVID quarantine on the heels of retirement joined together with a personality that was always busy living my job and filling my day’s off with sanity recovery, chores and rules. One would think having no rules, no Read more

  • Healing ourselves from the inside out!

    I’m a long time student of “TRYING” to give up enough fear per day to allow me to release opinions, judgement and those things I have no control over. A few years ago I embraced the fact that I really have no “control” over anything. Thinking we have the ability to control everything is an Read more

  • CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY

    I spent a lot of time this morning working through some friendship issues…..TOO DRAMATIC. I used my time this morning centering myself and releasing my attachments to outcomes and reining in my ego. My ego thought it was going to be a great day because I was loaded for bear and I felt very satisfied Read more

  • Fear burning like a flame in the cellar

    My friend, Terri, posted this on Facebook this morning The author understood what so many of us are learning…. I look back at my life and realize how exhausted I have been fighting for everything! I really thought that was how to be successful. Never satisfied, I always felt I needed to do better, to Read more

  • Healing the mind in conversation

    Our Spirit Group facilitator, Mary, helped me through an emotionally challenging, teary discussion by having me switch to referring to myself in the 3rd person rather than as I. Using this process (while cumbersome at first) really works in taking the sting out of words. Later on, during a counseling session, a therapist used the Read more

  • Coffee and the pandemic

    This morning one of those wormy kind of things wiggled its way into my consciousness and I recognized it as a symptom of my fear of scarcity. I won’t head dive into everything I’ve learned in the last couple of years about the fear of not having enough…whether it be money or toilet paper or Read more