A deep thought here…you really learn about life when you are dealing with death.  A few days ago, I was totally pissed off and bitter about my relationship with Aunt Frances..mainly I was having a pitty party because it seemed that the two maternal adults in my life made  no attempt to cuddle Nina Sue at the death of her parents…the things I have learned 1) we all think about life different and we all think about death different; 2) in their grief – I’m cleary speaking of my mother and my aunt, it was not possible for them to take care of anyone else; 3)Their mother died young – mom was 13 and Aunt Frances was 15 so they are possibly emotionally challenged by the death and who knows how death was dealt with in the 1930’s; 4) we are so apart in generations…my parents and Aunt Frances are the age of grandparents to most of my friends; 5)the 4 of us grew as one unit.  Aunt Frances was in our unit..Mom, Dad, Aunt Frances and Nina Sue so I’m guessing no one even considered that I was the little girl in the mix.  6) I go to great lengths to not appear vulnerable, lonely and out of control…thus the thoughts of laying in a bed in my last days being vulnerable, lonely and out of control scares me…fast forward to death here…obviously mother and aunt frances didn’t feel this way.  Jeff  aka ghog said the way to solve this problem is with a living will..that is what he did and he also said:

In any case, the main imperative is to make it known what your choices are and where the lines are drawn while you are still healthy. That way, when your time comes, your wishes will be honored. Whether you choose to fight like Aunt Francis or set rules for ending it like I did, individual choice has to be preserved. No government, no family member, no doctor or caregiver should be allowed to make that choice for you. The choice should be yours.

Your Aunt wants to fight. Leave her to it. 

Thanks everyone for your comments, your support and your love.  I may find Peace yet…

Until next time….