The most important thing this morning is to wish my friend, Jeff a Happy Birthday…Jeff, The Daily Ground Hog author, got himself some nice birthday presents that involve electronics and computers…you know…that kind of stuff..but the thing that brought a tear to my eye is…he now has cable and DSL…I messaged him this morning and told him that it was akin to getting your first big boy long pants. He replied “Bite me”. Happy Birthday, Jeff…you are one of my favorite people and have been for a very long time…
If you read my ramblings on Facebook, you can probably skip this paragraph….My mother and father left me a horrible mess at their house. They never ever thru anything away…nothing…my dad’s big issue was the basement..this is where he did a lot of his sculpting and stuck away in drawers some awesome antique things…from old milk bottles (from his dairy days) to old tools, old tin cigarette boxes…oh goodness, I can’t even tell you. My mother filled the upstairs…she never, ever, ever thru away a greeting card that was sent to her, nor any magazine…boxes of magazine, stashes here and there with string tied around them…With this information, you might assume their house was very cluttered…not so much…as mom got older, she liked to have her knick knacks around her..I will probably be the same way because I love “stuff”. No, the things mom had, she hoarded into drawers, closets and boxes too. Cleaning out her file cabinets…plural…I found stuff dating back to before I was born..that is more than 53 years ago…This part drives me nuts…but overall, I’m delighed for the mess. This is therapy for me…this is learning about who these two people really were…I have had a couple of total break down moments wondering why they couldn’t have shared this with me when they were alive…but they didn’t and now I get to don my surgical gloves and tear into it. One thing that shocks me…totally shocks me…is that mom took cake decorating classes back in the late 70’s. She would practice her designs on the back of cookie trays and of course kept them. When I found the reason for the attention of the mice to one cabinet by the copious amount of mouse droppings, I was shocked to learn she had just placed all of these cake decorating trials back in the cabinet…well, mice from miles around obviously heard about this woman..what I just can’t get over is she did this before she ever moved into this house in 1984 so she moved the cabinet from her old house to this house without cleaning it out….I HATE MOUSE DROPPINGS!!!
Those of you who have been reading me for awhile know of my very complicated history with my mother. I have some freedom now. I had heard from many people with difficult mother/daughter relationships that peace would come with her death. It has and it is…it softly lighting on my shoulder and changing my perspective… it is over and I’m on my way back “UP” emotionally.
Onward and Upward…
Until next time….
Sounds like you found a lot of antiques and some valuable stuff. Sounds like it was not a lot of fun having to sort through it though. My kids know I am a collector and they come through every six months and attack my closets and my junk drawers.
I was struck by the same sentence as MB. I love the idea of getting to know your parents as people rather than just parents. It’s a shame it had to wait until they were gone. It’s a good lesson for us with our own kids though.
Oh dear Nina I have been wondering how you have been doing. I’m glad to hear that you are on your way up. I know there can be a lot of mixed feelings.It is nice that you are able to go through all of the stuff and find out who your parents were. When my dad died my brothers went in and just threw everything out. Not that there was a lot, my dad was not a saver, but there were things like the bill from their honeymoon which would have been fun to see.Love & hugs Nina! I hope the adventure through the house continues to help you through this time!
I’m so glad to see your post! I so understand your feeling and what you said about people with difficult maternal relationships feeling freedom at their deaths.OMG, discovering those trays with the 25-year-old frosting on them would have sent me around the bend! The mouse droppings!!!!! I’m sorry you have to deal with such clutter and mess. I’m sure it’s a very emotional experience, finding all the things they kept.Kathi
I’m glad you’re able to have such a cathartic experience. It’s good for your soul and it will bring you the peace you deserve to have as you move forward in your own life.