If you haven’t spent a lot of time totally alone with the only stimulation being yarn and a crochet hook, then you may just think I’m wacked or morbid…but tonight – I was listening to another agency talking about an accident and the victim being unconscious….I let my mind wander…If someone would have asked me if I was claustrophobic, I would have said – nope…don’t think so…I read a book not too long ago where the character was crawling thru a cave and it kept getting smaller and smaller to where he was having to drag himself thru the small places and I got this creepy, disgusting feeling in the pit of my stomach and thought – wow, I could never do that.  Then there was the MRI experience – I wasn’t even in the tube – just my lower body – my head and arms were flush with the tube but there is no way I could have sat up.  This gave me that same sick feeling in the gut.  I decided that it is not being able to get up/sit up/at least sit in an upright position/being tied down that brings on the fear.  Tonight I took this one step further…what happens when we are unconscious or comatose?  What if I’m laying in a bed someday and am in a coma – in a coma to the outside world – but what if I’m totally normal in my mind – I just can’t let anyone know.  What if “he” plays my favorite music, everyone talks to me and holds my hands, he brings the dogs to see me and I can’t respond…I’m trapped….it totally scares me….

So…don’t think about it – get back to crocheting!!!