My 89 year old mother has narcissist personality disorder.  Textbook.  I’ve known for years – actually since I was 8 or so that there was something wrong with her.  When I got to be an adult, I refused to believe that there could be anything wrong with her….it had to be me…I couldn’t really be feeling about her the way I do.  I absolutely couldn’t stand to be around her – she always either irritated me or embarrassed me.  Can you say CONTROL…and if I hadn’t gone to therapy and if my daughter hadn’t found the author, Nina Brown and her Children of the Self Absorbed…I would still be controlled.  Obviously controlled.  Mom is in a nursing home now.  She has fallen and broken her femor once and her pelvis 3 times and she is still kicking.  She pretty much has fought every attempt I’ve made to 1)help her; 2)leave her alone.  I found the yahoo group…”adult children of narcisstic parents” which has helped me so much.  I get off work in an hour and have to go see her – it has been a week….I dread each visit.  I have to put my shield up…I continuously hope that I will have a “mother” that I think any child deserves before she dies….Hope gets less everytime I go see her.  Sad 😦

It’s Saturday afternoon at 1700 hours – a blue sky but windy day in Iowa.  I can hardley wait to “get out there”…get the nursing home visit over so I can go home and watch several more Grey’s Anatomy season 3 episodes.  I watched Kate Walsh’s new Private Practice show…Hope it is going to get better.  Usually these new shows need to find their level…I love Amy Brenneman too and the other lead female – she has a beautiful set of arms. 

I’m so new to Xanga but enjoyed doing a little browsing last night.  Found some ladies sites that really interested me…look forward to having more time to read everything. 

Until next time……