Tag Archives: mental health

11.29.25
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The Opera of Moving in 3 Acts

Change has a way of revealing who we are at our core. Some people thrive on the excitement and possibility it brings, others adapt out of necessity, and some feel deeply unsettled by it. Moving, especially multiple times, takes resilience and courage. It’s not irresponsibility — it’s a willingness to start over, to chase something new, or to follow where life leads. There’s a quiet strength in that kind of adaptability, even if others can’t always see it.

After years of marriage, I began to sense it — the quiet resistance in him. The way he settled into routine. My judgement. 15 years before he had built two houses on an acreage. One for us and one for my parents who purchased the land. After both parents were gone, I felt the need for a transition and asked him to do some remodeling of their house so we could move. Although, ironically, the idea of moving from the home where we made all of our family memories made me sad. It wasn’t until he moved the cats to the new house while I was working, that I recognized the big decision alone needed the tenderness in the meaningful act that made the new surroundings feel like home. My cats!

5 years later, both daughters were creating their own lives and both had moved away from us. The youngest was newly out of college and setting out to find her right place in the world. The oldest had already built a life in a city four hours away and was starting a family of her own. As fate would have it, a business opportunity presented itself there. It felt as though everything was falling into place…..confirming that this was the right move for us.

Ten years later I was filled with gratitude….the absolute joy of watching our grandsons grow. But, even amidst that joy, something was missing. I wasn’t living in the place where my heart felt at ease. I found myself yearning to return to my roots, to familiar places and faces that had shaped my life. The irresistible pull was welcoming a granddaughter….back home.

After much reflection…with emotions filled with agony, we made the decision to move once more…back home.

ACT 3. Everything came together — the move, the search, the finding of a new place to call home. The tears of sadness linger for the love and laughter we left behind, but tucked safely in the corners of my mind are the echoes of a life will-lived.

It’s taken some time to get settled and to find a rhythm. Today, as I prepared a puzzle table and moved lamps around for just the right light, I paused for a moment in gratitude. Grateful to feel free, to feel at home and to know that all is well enough for me to simply sit in the quiet, listening to the familiar tick of the clock and enjoy the quiet solitude. Let the puzzle angst begin!

Until next time….

05.29.24
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I had no idea…

until the morning I woke up at 67 plus about 333 days, that I realized that age is just a number. The designation of age gives us a benchmark of when we can start school, get a driver’s license, know more than our parents, should be married and have children, should/could retire…and the biggie….begin wondering if I’m close to the age when I’m expected to die.

I recently experienced a short bout of depression. I recognized the signs when I started snacking a lot, wanted to only sit in the recliner and read or do New York Times crosswords and binge watch Britbox TV. I had no desire to leave the house for ANYTHING and found I could only communicate via text message. I had moved negative fears and experiences into my house and gave them a bed and 3 meals a day plus snacks! The thing was.. I knew exactly what the catalyst was for my mental burial but I was incapable of working through what was just beyond my grasp…because I could not stop ruminating.

I moved through the fear/sadness and with it came a knowing of how much damage I can do to myself by thinking and trying to control each moment. (my moments and other peoples moments). Attempting to live by a planned outline of my life….which is impossible. It is ridiculous to drive with one foot hovering over the brake. The enlightenment in my THINKING about what is expected at this age (pencil in a number) came by realizing that my thoughts about aging are legends of someone else’s history or the lips of society telling me how I’m supposed to live and think…fears are a hammer and nail.

07.17.13
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Things that make you go HMMMMMM

With the domestic abuse laws in Iowa, law enforcement really has no option other than to arrest if they arrive at a domestic abuse call and someone has marks and bruises…both parties –  even if one is just defending themselfe from the attack – if the  perpetrator has marks and bruises also…this may not be a good thing?  What is taking up so much time are the people who just cannot get along.  One of them calls the police because they are mad or the neighbor calls the police because they can hear them.  Who says a good old screaming match isn't good for the soul…yet…some of these people fight on a daily or weekly business…and the police who were not invited along on the first date or to the wedding are now having to deal with pathetic marital squabbles….also to dumb down what seems to be an ugly thread running thru America…police officers are not invited to give their opinion on whether some folks should procreate but get stuck helping to raise the children….and I'm not kidding.  "I need a cop to come because child will not go to bed".  "I need a cop because child will not get out of bed".  "I need a cop to come because child will not go to school".  I, personally, think one has to do with the other.  Too many single parent families raised by single parent families who one or both of the parents was non-existent or it was just too much trouble to raise kids.  I've always thought it was failure to follow thru so that kids know where they stand.  No means no and yes means yes.

I've already blathered on many times about tattlers.  People who call the police over and over again to tattle on their neighbors, tattle because of road rage or demanding attention for something that is none of their business.

Then there is mental health.  Every person whose life is EMS or law enforcement knows who the people are in the area who just plain have mental issues.  Documented mental issues.  There are the people who are feeling down and need some attention who go the I'm going to kill myself route and call the police.  There are those who want to kill themselves and do it without screaming for help.  Then there are those people out there who are on the cusp of mental illness…they seem to thrive in society but deep down, for whatever reason, they are not all right.  Some turn to alcohol – some turn to drugs – some turn to violence – but they are stewing in their own juices.  If family and friends or those around don't recognize the craziness, these folks may turn into one of the above and officially have a label.

Until next time….