gratitude
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When I was young, Sunday nights meant my mom would drill me on spelling words. Very often I would go to bed very upset because I would screw up. The matriarchal tutor would tell me to sleep on it and she bet I would remember how to spell them in the morning. She was right! Read more
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This morning, I told the little white haired lady at the checkout counter that I was always happy to see her face when I pulled into her lane. Her eyes lit up with just enough of a smile on her lips that I knew her heart opened up. After I payed, I looked the obviously stoned sacker Read more
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Every now and then I get a glimmer of how this whole life thing works when fear is released and I am able to experience the one precious moment…….right here and right now. I have a history of making myself miserable in thinking and in action taking care of everyone. I have caused myself a Read more
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Why do I think everyone else’s life is better than my own? I know that these thoughts usually only settle in when I am feeling irritable without a cause or irritable with a cause. So…irritable. Or when I’m feeling sorry for myself…without a cause or with a cause. Or when I have committed or not Read more
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does not mean it is mine to do. From an early age (childhood) I learned that I had responsibilities. Not for just cleaning out the dishwasher but to rinse the dirty dishes, load the dishwasher “correctly”, run the dishwasher, empty it and begin again. This duty was not totally my responsibility but a metaphor for Read more
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Searching for a recipe, I realized that today was as good as any to make a stab at organization. I have a tendency to pull out a recipe, make the dish and stuff the recipe back in the box in the front or back ignoring the TABS WITH THE CATEGORY written on them. It is Read more
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Recognizing the emotion. I remember myself and my history as having 3 recognizable emotions and I knew what to do with them…Sob/cry, let it all out laugh, and that feeling in my forehead of rage which I would not normally let out. Everything else (the initial build up) just felt like discomfort…and most of the Read more
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When my 92 year old mother passed in 2009, I expected to have instant healing from a lifetime of a dysfunctional relationship with her. That’s not the way in works. Christmas Season was the good month in my growing up years….it’s what my mother did well. I am an only child and Christmas was magical Read more
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While standing in the spray paint aisle today, I heard the old man coming before I saw him. Significantly overweight, puffing out with each breath, perspiring and a two pack a day deep cough and of course, no mask. My irritation was well learned and the thought I had was 1] that had better not Read more
Ninasusan 