Blogging away the angst

When I initially started Sharing my irritations, hates, repressed anger, loves and thankfulness on this ninasusan.com blog in 2007, it’s purpose was to make connections with other people. It quickly morphed into a safe place to use as my own personal therapy session. I shared my very painful beliefs and words on a public blogging site because I found that I was receiving feedback from perfect strangers who also found themselves in their own personal hell and we related! I also connected with 6 or 7 perfect humans who now ride in the backseat of my car daily…we share, we commiserate, we love and we hold each other up. I have met face to face with a couple of them….the rest of us feel like we’ve also met in person because we just KNOW each other with our souls!

I remember when I started out, I received some flash back from remain nameless because they couldn’t figure out why I didn’t keep my personal business….personal… I heard them…I understood the question…but, quite unlike my usual MO, I continued writing and sharing because I felt I had to get my hate and disconnect from familial mental abuse out or it would kill me. I needed to have a way to communicate everything I was holding inside and I was too afraid to clip the wires on my jaw and actually say out loud what I thought, what I meant…I did not have the guts to back off from those people who had grown accustomed to my people pleasing.

Someone mentioned to me the other day how much they appreciated how authentic my blogs are. The words from her blessed my heart. We all suffer, we all experience mental or physical ailments, we all have grief, we all have irritations and hateful moments. But we all just want to be heard and we all want to be loved. We are what we think. We are the unkind thoughts we think about others. Just Be Kind! Pass it on. Pay it forward!

Namaste

In my pursuit of happiness….

I have quite a few friends in my life.  My friends have a perpetual place in my life…some of them I haven't seen in 40 years but they are always in my heart and thanks to Facebook; I keep up with their joys and sorrows.  I have to say that like any relationship, I have been disappointed and I have disappointed…there have only been two friends in my life who have enraged me to such a degree that I've said…done…no more..the bridge has burned and cannot be rebuilt.  I've been forgiven and I forgive but we each have a healthy line between what we will accept and forgive and when the crap is just too large to continue driving around.  If you have found my new blog page, please understand…I wish you well in your search for mental health…I've blocked you from Facebook, I trust you got my text..I'm not going to talk to you so please don't dial my number again.

Until next time…..