Ninasusan

Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

healing

  • Included with the Upgrade…..

    I’m learning to block the INCOMING shots fired from the field by surrounding my heart with invisible window screening and turning down the interior spotlights so the target is not as easily visible from the outside. That’s how I’m learning to say the word NO, and selectively choosing my path in the cacophony of people-pleasing Read more

  • Changing life one coffee shop at a time

    There is often a huge crevice between expectations associated with our choices and Reality… Capital R – Reality. Simply put, I’m in the drive thru of my favorite coffee shop, waiting for my turn to order, I make a snap decision and choose to get a large calorie laden coffee with caffeine, sugar and real Read more

  • CLEANING OUT THE WOUND

    A page from The Book of Awakening -Mark Nepo “February 21. If I had experienced different things, I would have different things to say. So often, I have felt troubled and guilty bearing witness to my pain, and yet, not to make things worse. Somehow, in saying just what Mother had done in her cruel Read more

  • Where do I go from here….

    I call it working knowledge…all of the encounters, judgements, observations and a lifetime of the resulting lessons that I draw from over this lifetime aid me in traversing through this human experience as I navigate the cube I live in. I choose the word CUBE here…like ice cube. Throw an ice cube in a glass Read more

  • Playing with building blocks

    Recognizing the emotion. I remember myself and my history as having 3 recognizable emotions and I knew what to do with them…Sob/cry, let it all out laugh, and that feeling in my forehead of rage which I would not normally let out. Everything else (the initial build up) just felt like discomfort…and most of the Read more

  • Meme your understanding

    The good news is I’m starting to understand…understanding my little habits and attachments that eventually cause me pain and negativity and dis-ease. Actually I feel like this is a big step in the big picture of my life in the 6th decade… Just because I learned it as a child…perfected it as an adult and Read more

  • One of those freakish accidents

    Responding to my comment “after 42 years of marriage, maybe he was trying to kill me”, the doctor shuddered with that little nervous giggle and said..ya, that’s the way I would do it…through the ear. hahahah He was hanging pictures on the wall yesterday afternoon and was using a razor blade knife with a brand Read more

  • The surprise visit

    I had a blessed visit this morning with my dad…..it manifested with steepled fingers. Elbows on the arms of the chair with all 5 hand digits touching each other only connecting at the finger pads. It’s one of those memories of seeing my dad sitting in his recliner with his head back with his hands Read more

  • I AM WHAT I AM

    I have been thinking it was retirement that has taken the pressure off. The pressure of no longer entertaining the belief that I’m not as smart or as worthy as everyone else…mentally living in my head believing that because I didn’t pursue a college educated career I wasn’t as good as or as worthy as Read more

  • Naked ladies look better than ever

    So happy when we uncovered the Naked Ladies (aka Belladonna Lily) today. I had been out looking for them swiping at the mulch cover but obviously had dug around in the wrong spot. This is probably the 4th year for them to actually pop out of the ground and this year looks to be a Read more