Ninasusan

Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

family

  • The Freedom to speak

    I have often been taken aback during a conversation with a friend…or for that matter a casual conversation with a stranger…there can be one phrase that will mentally remove me from the conversation as I attempt to define exactly what was said, often as I slowly open a squeaky window into judgement. During my childhood Read more

  • It’s not even 1:30

    I was left alone overnight and today. He left me the truck and said “you’ll be fine, it’s kinda fun to drive” which sounded rather manipulative but he was loving and probably didn’t realize he was talking to the intelligent part of my brain. This morning started out fine. I took a walk on this Read more

  • CLEANING OUT THE WOUND

    A page from The Book of Awakening -Mark Nepo “February 21. If I had experienced different things, I would have different things to say. So often, I have felt troubled and guilty bearing witness to my pain, and yet, not to make things worse. Somehow, in saying just what Mother had done in her cruel Read more

  • Love found in the recipe box

    Searching for a recipe, I realized that today was as good as any to make a stab at organization. I have a tendency to pull out a recipe, make the dish and stuff the recipe back in the box in the front or back ignoring the TABS WITH THE CATEGORY written on them. It is Read more

  • The surprise visit

    I had a blessed visit this morning with my dad…..it manifested with steepled fingers. Elbows on the arms of the chair with all 5 hand digits touching each other only connecting at the finger pads. It’s one of those memories of seeing my dad sitting in his recliner with his head back with his hands Read more

  • Dear Dad

    I was just telling the girls about what a hard worker you were! I told the story about you wanting to firm up the back yard in our first home in the late 50’s by hauling broken up concrete from a parking lot being torn up near our house…all of it in the trunk of Read more

  • So many thoughts 9 more hours

    There is absolutely nothing going on today. It’s breezy, barely over 60 so I decided to use this day as a ?mental?health day which turned into I really need to find something constructive to do….I’m bored! My last thought as I was cleaning up lunch dishes and putting silverware in the dish washer was a Read more

  • I AM WHAT I AM

    I have been thinking it was retirement that has taken the pressure off. The pressure of no longer entertaining the belief that I’m not as smart or as worthy as everyone else…mentally living in my head believing that because I didn’t pursue a college educated career I wasn’t as good as or as worthy as Read more

  • Cows

    I have always loved cows….in fact, I have no idea how I could still be eating them but I can’t go there right now. My grandma had Jersey cows for milking…I always thought they had adorable faces Amongst my many collections of “things” that have come and gone was my cow collection which I finally Read more

  • No place for anything but gratitude on Thanksgiving…

    Thanksgiving this year was just one of those events in my life where I said, Yep…can’t do anything about it…just get through it. Poof…seems as soon as I released my attachment to what it should be, what it’s always been, and stopped ruminating…I began to find some peace, joy and gratitude! Except for the young Read more