Ninasusan

Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

divine order

  • There does not need to be a plan for everything

    I have accepted the fact that I have a split personality…which means I plan for every eventuality while moving through life hopping on the “unplanned” train rails. We recently made a lifestyle change to lease an apartment in another state for a year…it was totally the right choice to make. I recognize that at our Read more

  • Happy 107th dad

    As I posted a Facebook post this morning to recognize my dad’s 107th birthday, I had a strange understanding work through me from head to toe like a menopausal hot flash.  I realized that I was grateful that he did not live one more second past the hour he chose to take his last breath.  Read more

  • The illusion of daily drivel

    I fully recognize that I am not in a gentle place right now. I’m not doing my morning centering, meditations and I miss that contented 2020 peacefulness. That’s not to say I didn’t have a thin thread of fear running through my head about COVID but I settled in to experience those early months of Read more

  • I’m having “not living in the moment” episodes

    Why do I think everyone else’s life is better than my own? I know that these thoughts usually only settle in when I am feeling irritable without a cause or irritable with a cause. So…irritable. Or when I’m feeling sorry for myself…without a cause or with a cause. Or when I have committed or not Read more

  • Changing life one coffee shop at a time

    There is often a huge crevice between expectations associated with our choices and Reality… Capital R – Reality. Simply put, I’m in the drive thru of my favorite coffee shop, waiting for my turn to order, I make a snap decision and choose to get a large calorie laden coffee with caffeine, sugar and real Read more

  • Where do I go from here….

    I call it working knowledge…all of the encounters, judgements, observations and a lifetime of the resulting lessons that I draw from over this lifetime aid me in traversing through this human experience as I navigate the cube I live in. I choose the word CUBE here…like ice cube. Throw an ice cube in a glass Read more

  • Just because I’m breathing…

    does not mean it is mine to do. From an early age (childhood) I learned that I had responsibilities. Not for just cleaning out the dishwasher but to rinse the dirty dishes, load the dishwasher “correctly”, run the dishwasher, empty it and begin again. This duty was not totally my responsibility but a metaphor for Read more

  • Playing with building blocks

    Recognizing the emotion. I remember myself and my history as having 3 recognizable emotions and I knew what to do with them…Sob/cry, let it all out laugh, and that feeling in my forehead of rage which I would not normally let out. Everything else (the initial build up) just felt like discomfort…and most of the Read more

  • Meme your understanding

    The good news is I’m starting to understand…understanding my little habits and attachments that eventually cause me pain and negativity and dis-ease. Actually I feel like this is a big step in the big picture of my life in the 6th decade… Just because I learned it as a child…perfected it as an adult and Read more

  • OMG WHAT WAS THAT

    Sitting on the couch this morning, I “felt” a small tremor….like when several cats on a mission jumps off the back of the couch or someone drops a heavy object in another part of the house or like when dynamite detonates at one of the two nearby quarries…..I sat for a moment waiting for the Read more