….for a few minutes I lost trust in humanity

After the whale watching expedition….(picture) I was just content knowing I was going to be off the boat in a few minutes, we went to a restaurant nearby…see my across body purse there….Apparently I took it off in the restaurant when I dug out my “no interest for a year”discover card and left it in the booth. I didn’t miss it until the afternoon of the next day. Only thing missing was my wallet, $40, drivers license and my bone conductive ear phones. But my total disappointment was in humanity…the next customer..or the next didn’t take what they wanted and give it to the restaurant or waitress…more likely they hiked it in the trash can. That fact is what was the most horrible detail for me…the inhumanity!

The second picture is a lighthouse way out there..we also saw the little red house that the Wizard of Oz’ Wicked Witch of the west summered in on the peninsula…according to the guide, her family still owns it.

And the last picture I took because were I ever to go back to Boothbay Harbor…I would try to stay in this B&B. Boothbay was a little too busy for us…it was beautiful but the village contained way too many tourist shops. It was a beautiful introduction to Maine!

21 miles out in the Maine harbor aka the Atlantic

Many years ago during a trip to Hawaii he wanted to take a sailboat ride…I told him to have a blast but no way in hell was I doing it with him!!

Fast forward to this morning when he asked if I wanted to take a tour boat out to do whale watching. A …. NO! I suggested once again that he should feel free to do it. No…he said, I don’t want to do that, I want to share it with someone.

I pouted the first hour and a half…put my jacket hood up and silently vowed never again! 21 miles out we saw a whale. But we couldn’t leave it at that we had to sit and wait for it to surface two more times before we could head an hour and a half back to land.

I’m not against whale watching in general….it’s probably a once in a lifetime thing for most people. But for me I could not stand the fact that we were in his home, running our loud motor messing up his sonar and then goIng into high gear to the next siting of him/her. Is that fair?

Someday I’ll share with you what I think about zoos and mammoth aquariums!

Until next time…..

She suggested I ask my guides for one more sign

Cats fed yesterday morning around 7…suitcases in our car…He started the car and the low tire pressure light was on. UGH…so we decided to take the loner car to the airport for our trip to Maine. I didn’t really want to drive it and leave it in economy parking for the week…I seriously have no idea why that concerned me. Traffic generally sucked at 7AM so we kind of traveled across country rather than taking interstate highways for our hour long commute. We got to Independence and the tire pressure light went on in the loaner car! WHAT.!?! Sure enough, he had to change the tire because of a sidewall blowout…WHAT?!?!

You know those stories about people missing a plane and the plane later crashed? I was totally freaked out knowing that I needed to listen to my intuition which seemed to be screaming STOP. I called my daughter and she told me to ask my spirit guides for one more sign….I did!

Since we were driving on a donut, we decided to leave the car at some friends house and use Uber to take us the rest of the way. He and I decided that if an Uber wasn’t available that would be our sign. A great guy named Richard in a red car answered our UBER call.

WHEW Ok.

……..and then there is TSA. As a back story…. I’ve packed Norwex powder laundry detergent on every trip I’ve taken including at least two international flights and it has never been an issue…no one has even asked me about it. Until TSA in Kansas City working the Delta airline. They held my luggage….they needed to go through it because of half a small bag of laundry detergent. I had a full pat down…then they had to use their super squirrel sheets to find contaminants in my backpack and my suitcase…she told me if they found a contaminant (otherwise known as laundry detergent) they would need to have the explosives unit come in to investigate. WHAT?!?! Well, of course it was laundry detergent and it wasn’t in my bags nor my shoes nor my cellphone after the second scan!

We didn’t listen to the third warning. We are in Maine.

Until next time…..

totally unscientific hugging study completed

Many years ago….the 70’s….I conducted a study of fellow employees of the insurance company I worked whether they folded or crinkled their toilet paper. The question had been banging around my brain for many years because as a child, I remember the time consuming folding my mother used to do…I, on the other hand, was a non conformist and was not particularly an “attention to detail person”. In case you are wondering, I have no recollection the study details but I recall being pretty spot on with who I thought did what.

Yesterday I was thinking about hugging so I asked my Facebook friends if they were hugged as children…the options given were SELDOM\NO, OFTEN/YES or SOMETIMES. Some friends just answered the question, others who answered sometimes gave an explanation like Yes, Grandparents…or just my father or mother…a few sent me a private message! 69 respondents….29 seldom/no, 9 sometimes and 32 responded with yes and often.

What the results meant to me…. I’m not a hugger until I started hanging out with Unity Village people…I seldom initiate a hug and I think hugging totally represents love from some people; others I see hugging as a habit…it’s just what you do when you greet people. With that in mind, I answered my own question about whether huggers are just more loving people…no, I don’t think so…and thirdly I chuckled because several people who are huggers have never hugged me.

So there you have it! Just know, I may not have hugged you but it does not represent how I feel about you!

Until next time…

That’s what I needed to hear today

I intuitively pull an oracle card every morning from my box of Alana Fairchild’s “Sacred Rebels” cards. Only twice in many months have I chosen a card in this manner that I’ve thought…what?….I’m not sure what this means…which actually means…shhhh…there is obviously something subconsciously you haven’t recognized yet.

Oracle cards are not Tarot cards. The best explanation I found on the internet was from an oracle card designer, Aarona Lea Pichinson. She explained they are a directive tool offering guidance, clarity and a new perspective…often pointing you toward something you already knew but needed outside vision. My explanation is selecting a card letting your fingers (intuition) choose the most helpful card for this moment (also known as random), reading the card, thinking holy crap like I might consider words of wisdom from a daily calendar, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. Following the narrative, there is always a Healing Process suggestion.

Here is mine today…when I read it, I realized it was what I needed to hear today and my second thought was this would resonate with a lot of people I know.

“Say with feeling, “I now break any contract I have ever made with another, consciously or unconsciously, that has given them power over me, power over my sense of self, the authority to approve or reject me or anything about me, including my voice, body, creativity, spirituality, and way of living. Of my own free will, I now choose to directly perceive my own inner beauty and turn within with kindness and compassion to see myself through the eyes of unconditional love. So be it.”

Namaste

Do you board up on a horse?

Sometimes I feel like I’m on a horse with no reins. Mentally that is…it really isn’t possible for me to board a horse, get on a horse, mount a horse? The last time I threw my leg over a horse on a carousel at the carousel museum in Leavenworth, KS, I had that moment of terror….while actively mounting the fake horse….what if I can’t get on….but much, much worse…what if I can’t get off.

I am not a riding a horse person….flying across the meadow on a horse with no name seems like it would be terrifying …… although…it might be exactly what I need to do if:

  1. I could give up control physically and in my mind not try to control the outcome….ie. not worry about who will clean up the blood and carry me over the mountains to a hospital.
  2. Breath into my feelings of fear and realize that the outcome is only a scenario I’m playing out in my head based on all of the fear based thinking that has gone before as I’ve tried to prepare myself for every eventuality rather than just relaxing and being!
  3. Allow someone to help me rather than faking strong and overly competent as I’ve always done in the past. Residue from childhood of not having confidence that there were “people” to take care of me rather than me having to take care of them. *cough mother.
  • My thoughts today as I realize mom has now been gone from this life for 10 years. There are just ashes left of the past I’ve left behind. It’s all happening right now. Everything else is an illusion…..just like the illusion of the future where I see myself riding a horse with no reins across the meadow. Just like control of the horse, I only have the illusion of control in my life.
  • Until next time….
  • Pulling my teen year poems out…don’t make me do it!

    Who among us can jump into their shorts, jeans, swim suit, or pajamas everyday with both feet. I’m not talking about bragging rights of which leg we put in first as someone coined the phrase to make us all feel normal and like we belong. Actually I’m waiting for a news report with headlines saying the government is now separating us as a people by who puts their right leg in and who puts their left leg in first….and, of course can turn themselves around.

    I joined a writing group a year ago or so…I now call it my beloved writing group, Word Shine…I don’t share any of my writings yet. I have thought about pulling out some of my teen years angst poems….because they deserve it….why, you might ask. Because I learned in this group that it was possible to become more creative, which by the way is my goal, if I start using my non dominant hand to write. This technique exercising, in my case, the right hemisphere of my brain. It was also suggested that I use this “useless” hand to brush my teeth. By the way, I tried that first….no issue…I have an electric toothbrush, no small maneuvers required! SCORE

    But for,the last two weeks, I’ve been attempting to do half my morning pages with my left hand. The only thing I can tell about this practice is I’m totally screwed creatively if I use this practice as an indicator. Not only is it not legible but I cannot EVEN form letters correctly while printing. I absolutely can’t figure out how to draw a Y. Try it! Please let me know. I could use some reassurance. BTW Word Shine meeting in a couple hours, I need to dig up my old poems.

    Until next time…

    Or I’m blinded by the steam escaping from my head

    I started off my Morning Pages arguing the woulda, shoulda, coulda theory of my life. I think I’m still following “someone” else’s rules…rules that have a home in my ego….rules that I haven’t seen to fit to challenge with the board of directors in my brain!

    Today is not the first day I’ve argued that I am very content sitting on the deck, drinking my coffee, plotting death to the cicadas having the intention that I will do nothing today other than read and make notes (bulletpoint notes) about How do I go about killing cicadas).

    VS

    OMG someday I will be 80 (insert number) and I won’t be able to get around as well and I will regret the decision I made on August 9 2019 at 0900 to just do nothing…what is wrong with me that I don’t want to do anything…everyone else is out there living productive lives and here I sit on my deck doing nothing!

    There is a heepa lotta attachment here to shoulda! Then…I thought….I read a lot of books and attend classes each week on changing my thinking….quieting ego thinking and making decisions through the divine spirit in me….keeping my vibrations high, the value of meditating….and I can’t make peace with myself to be content right now…just being in the moment? Right here….right now!

    I may just be overthinking…spending too much time outside my head and letting my ego cause me to be off center and causing the energy I’m using on something that doesn’t even deserve a conversation blind me by the steam this useless activity is creating.

    Until next time….

    Right now is the only moment I have

    Because of my upbringing which I can sum up as do what you are told, no need to have a mind of your own because this is what you believe and this is what you will do, it took me a long time to realize that I was going to begin stepping out in my own direction. I still followed rules and, for the most part, laws, but I learned through experience that if you continue doing what you’ve always done and think with the same mind you used before, then you will have the exact same outcome. BUT…if you pay attention to nuances (which I now call intuition), speak with respect, do your homework and intelligently defend your case, then sometimes rules will be changed. I also learned that if the rules don’t change, you can either suck it up and follow the rules which MAY be the appropriate behavior or more likely for me, I would get mad…scream and holler in my head …. then organize like- minded individuals and go at it again…. being sure to attach some negative emotion to it so that in 20 or more years later, similar emotions about similar situations can rise up and before you know it you are overwhelmed in anger and hatred and vengeance which will probably be overblown for the situation…ie:road rage. There are many years and many experiences that have occurred before which exploded this workable problem into a full blown battle in your head. When they rise up, you will be reacting and responding the way you did 20 or more years ago to a completely different situation….the cycle just continues throughout life.

    What did I just read or hear the other day..something to the effect….you can’t fix a problem with the same mind that created it.

    My opinion as to the answer is not going to come from me in a 3 paragraph blog, or quite frankly, from me at all…I’m learning and all I can really share is what got me from there to where I am now sharing my thoughts on my blog, but I will credit the PRACTICE of meditation, the book Mastery of Self by Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr…his daddy wrote the Four Agreements, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer or A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

    Until next time…

    Nothing makes you feel fat like…..

    . Taking a selfie in the bright sun with a white visor, white hair and a white T-shirt…

    . Being on the downhill side of a golf cart driving horizontally on a hill looking for a ball

    . Walking up a steep hill when you’ve told the cart driver…”go ahead, I’ll walk & catch up”

    We had a good time at the golf course yesterday…his first golf outing this year…there were questions like…seriously do you think you hit it that far…..seriously, the way it sounded, I thought it went further and hmmmmm the par for that hole is 4…really?

    That’s how he spent his birthday….golfing with me riding along in the golf cart doing color commentary! I brought my IPAD along so I could read but I never want to snatch my attention away from nature and the rolling hills, hidden houses, trees and the pond on the Unity Village Golf Course.

    Until next time….