She’s obviously not able to fully take care of herself…I am pretty sure that she is not even able to take care of herself enough that Aunt Frances could help.  She can walk with her walker down the hall at the nursing home.  Other than that she spends her time in the wheel chair in her room.  She can get from her chair to the throne but is not really able to clean herself up by herself.  Mentally – on a daily basis – she’s pretty with it…does have problems with concepts and that may be the underlying reason she can’t understand that she can’t take care of herself at home.  I’m just so disturbed by the fact that these two old women think they can live together in a house…Both have walkers – Aunt Frances gets along better than mom but not all that well.  Who makes this decision?  I’ve told A Fran that I think it is ridiculous that they are considering this … A Fran assures me that they can do it and in the next breath…how are we going to get your mother to the doctor and bi-monthly for her shots.  She has myleodysplastic syndrom…in otherwords…her bone marrow is not producing red blood cells and she must have a shot every 2 weeks for her strength and comfort.  I’ve told her and told her – I can’t help all that much because I work 10a to 6p and don’t really have a job that I can take time off every two weeks.  What I”m thinking now is:  they’ll just have to do what they think they can do and I’ll take her to the nursing home or call the ambulance when she falls AGAIN.  I live next door and can be there for emergencies and just let them figure it out on their own.  Or I can say.  NO.  I’m not going to be a part of this – (this is what I want to do)… mom, you are not going home and Aunt Frances you are going to have to find somewhere else to live.  Mom’s narcissistic personality is not weighing into this – finally after 50 years – because I just don’t really care anymore.  I just don’t want an old lady to physically suffer…mentally is another thing.  She could just make the best of it where she is.  But not my mother…she refuses to socialize…will not eat in the dining room and prefers to be a recluse in her room.  My feeling is, quite frankly, so be it.  I’ve taken care of her for all these years and I’m tired.  That’s the decision I feel is the right decision…for tonight anyway.  Will have to regurgitate and think about it all again tomorrow 😦

Until next time…..