Before I forget, here’s the Baroness site..she is the one I told you about in Chicago. It is very uplifting for me and I want to cry for her because you can just read in her words how much better she feels about herself.
I know with age, I have become a lot less tolerant…oh the regular everyday aquaintance probably doesn’t know it…but if you cross me with B.S. often, you know….and I’m trying to figure out what is going on with my volunteer personality. I can remember when I was pretty young, I told my folks that I wanted to do some volunteering and my folks both gave me negative feedback…my dad especially said I needed to make money more than I needed to volunteer…but the need to do my part didn’t leave me. I feel like I’ve been a good little volunteer over the years and have put out lots of energy for things that I hold dear and that are important to me. But the give until you hurt mentality is going away…I don’t know for sure whether it is that or if I’m just becoming more choosy about my time…I think it has a little to do with this: if I can’t get in there and really submerge myself, I lose interest…and I like to have a modest amount of control in my volunteering…I don’t need to be in charge, I just need some control..seems that if I’m just going to do what everyone tells me..then I might as well get another job and get paid for it….I’ve wondered also if I’m just tired…I think about sitting around and working on my hobbies more than I have a desire to volunteer and do things out in the public..I don’t think that is wrong but it is different for me. I know my job has burned me out because I have no tolerance at all for the bad things people do to one another…no tolerance for not being responsible for your own actions…no tolerance for bullys and/or people who won’t stand up for themselves and have to have someone else solve their problems.
I’m just burned out…that is probably all it is. I’m 53..certainly don’t feel that I’m near the grave, God willing, but maybe it is just time to take some Nina time for Nina?
Can you relate?
Until next time…..