Pretend Sunshine is called for today

I tell you that if the overcast skies prohibit shining sun today, I’m just going to fake it. I actually come from gratitude that we are receiving an abundance of rain during this late summer month…so there’s that. I’m watching him outside mowing right now…its mid morning and he just stopped to wipe sweat from under his glasses so that doesn’t bide well for outdoor activity.

Love and Light to my friends and family in Iowa recovering from the huge storm…I guess the Weather Service is calling this a Derecho…WHAT? I say we call it what it is … a huge storm. Most are saying its the worst storm they have ever been through…and the “most” in that sentence are people over the 1/2 century age…

We saw real people yesterday…a couple of our favorite people met us for an outside lunch (social distanced with masks and face shields. I finally removed my face shield because I continued to stab it with a fork) It felt so good to talk, laugh and see them face to face! We also saw the grandsons last night…Jenny and Justin brought supper that we enjoyed on the deck until sundown. The boys played inside a lot, revisiting their toys and loving on the cats…

So much gratitude…I really don’t even realize how mundane my life is until I’m awakened by the love and laughs of others sharing my same space.

Until next time….

Degrees of friendship

I’ve questioned my dysfunctional relationships with friends since I was a teenager.  As I work thru the questions, (be prepared for a long sentence) I now believe that by being an only child of older parents, who had a dysfunctional relationship with each other and expected me to be their one and only true friend, I may be on the path to discovery.

It seems I don’t end friendships they just pass on.  I’ve become friend and confident’ with more people than I care to acknowledge.  In most of these friendships, there hasn’t been a lot of give and take…or should I say, I’ve seen that they have a need, I feel their pain, I become enmeshed in their drama, I’m fulfilled because they need me and find myself once again trying to take care of them and their issues.  My emotions become overwhelmed and I feel like I”m drowning…so I slowly swim away to save myself.  While I know some of these friends like me and depend on ME, many times I am not fulfilled because there is no depth to the relationship and I don’t seek them out when I have a problem.

I’m getting it.

I have several friends that are good friends to me.  We like each other, we care about each other, if one of us is in the valley, we know that the other one will throw a rope.  We don’t have to talk on the phone, we don’t have to see each other every day…we just are.  They cross my path and I cross their path…there is a mutual friendship.

Then there is Margena and there is Kim.  Kim is the real deal.  There is no selfishness to our relationship..she knows every one of my secrets.  Margena is the longest known real deal.  Gena’s life is very difficult right now and I spend time together listening to her right now.  She’s had my back and taken care of me many times in the past.  The other day I was meeting her for dinner and she said that she wanted to meet and watch my face while I talked about my new grandson.  That was one of the most amazing things anyone has ever said to me.  It made me tear up.

I”m learning that I can have friends but I don’t have to be all up in their business and they don’t have to be all up in mine.  It is okay to have different degrees of friendship.

Until next time.