Get outta your head

I woke up this morning and before I realized that today was supposed to be different, I had the same “basic” thoughts I did in all the days before. There have been a few of my many, many mornings that I’ve jumped out of bed to music, doves and sunshine. But for the most part, I am grumpy….of course as life would have it, I married a man who wakes up throws the sheets aside and yells “it’s a new day, nothing has gone wrong yet”. A mild exaggeration there because remember, he wakes up next to me who is always on her first and last nerve.

Today is New Years Day….that day when everything begins anew. Today is the day that we are full of new hope for a new body, new health regime, new personality, new job, new relationships, new life. My question this morning is what happened overnight that makes us believe we have finally “fixed” the list of the things we do not like about our life….finally the miracle. For me, the list includes the very same things I have not liked about my life for the last 20, 30, 50 New Years mornings. The message is: We don’t have to make the seeming impossible changes in our life, we just have to change our thinking moment by moment. As a friend of mine reminded me recently…each new breath gives me the opportunity to change the way I think….the decisions I make….and the trajectory of my life.

Hindsight is 2020. I don’t have to make plans to change so that I’m magnificent with the perfect life and friends and body. I have that already. I just need to change the way I think….replacing displeasure and dislike with gratitude and love. The love for myself that I want to receive from everyone else. Nothing outside of myself really changes anything. What matters is how I think…right in this moment. Not with plans for the future or discomfort with the past. Stop right now and ask yourselves 5 things each do I hear, feel or see…this exercise brings us into the present moment….and then ask right here and right now is there anything wrong…right in this moment AM I OKAY!?

Happy New Year!

This year I have been good enough….

I know I focus way too much on fact, I may have lost a whole year because I have trouble grasping the fact that each day I was good enough.  For those of us focused on self-help, the buzz-word to make us feel better about ourselves is writing in a gratitude journal….and positive self talk.  I’ve heard it.  Apparently, it wasn’t something that got my attention because I haven’t done it.  I decided this morning that I’m going to start 2015 with positive self talk.  It’s a goal, I realize…it is something that I might fail to do…but I’m hoping it will replace the negative self talk from the voices in my head.  The way the theory works is by writing down or thinking everyday about the positive things in your life and focusing on the positive things, you will live a happier life and eventually you will genuinely focus on the good.  The discipline is going to be tough but I feel it is something I really need to do.

That is not to say that I won’t still have the negative thoughts and that I will still rage on about things that totally piss me off on my therapy blog, Ninasusan.  I know focusing on the self-negative has enabled me to change things about myself that I didn’t like but the fine line is still there…I want to pull myself up over the fine line of acceptance and focus more on who I am and not who I think I should be.  So for today…

I’m good enough!