Tag Archives: mindfulness

05.31.24
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There does not need to be a plan for everything

I have accepted the fact that I have a split personality…which means I plan for every eventuality while moving through life hopping on the “unplanned” train rails.

We recently made a lifestyle change to lease an apartment in another state for a year…it was totally the right choice to make. I recognize that at our age this may appear to be extreme; but falls into the thinking…if I’m not happy should I just continue to wallow or make a different decision and move on? Where I seem to be on the learning curve is to JUST STOP THINKING and not already question the next move forward. I know that the next moment will take care of itself if I listen within. (how often have I been hampered by the ‘learned fear’ of my upbringing vs the freedom of the knowledge that all things will work out when I release my need to control everything).

That being said….We made the decision to make this lifestyle change…okay honestly…we were able to make this lifestyle change because it seemed like each step in our thought process had a question and the solution in the same sentence. My contentment, my sleep, my frame of mind, my happiness is all thanks to the unplanned ‘riding the rails’ mode of travel. But my fear of the unknown voice pops in too often ..what happens when the year is up, what if I want to stay, are we wasting money, is this “right” decision actually a “wrong” decision…..and why do I think I must have a judge and jury outside of myself to decide the verdict.

Over the last 16 years, this blog has taken me from the depths of despair to where I am at this train depot. This is me actually ‘putting it down on paper’ which helps me work through it…similar to #JuliaCameron #morningpages in #TheArtist’sWay.

For this moment, I just am!

08.29.21
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Making the bed…the enlightened way…

I washed sheets today.

The whole “chore” of washing sheets (it’s not like I had to use a washboard in the stream) and remaking the bed became a mindful experience for me. Instead of focusing on the facts associated with this chore, I was shockingly finished and walking out of the room without thinking “why am I the only one who knows how to wash sheets in this house”. This takes nothing away from all of the things He does on a daily basis…it’s merely an historical triggered reaction.

Right after I rejected the common habit of yelling down and asking him to help me so I don’t have to walk around the bed myself 4 times, I recognized that this was another facet of the poor-me trigger I had learned so well. The good news is while putting the pillow cases on, I realized that I really did have a valid reason for not making my bed everyday because seriously, how does the bed go about breathing and airing out when covered with sheets, blankets and comforter all day. You are welcome…you may use it!

As I was walking around the bed on an unexpected trip (making it 6 times) to measure the distance of the top sheet to the bottom of the mattress on each side, I realized that every time we make the bed together, he gives me a reading of the sheet level to the mattress on his side…and, of course, this irritates me. Because it is an historical triggered reaction to those times when we slept in a small bed with smaller sheets and every time someone turned over, it could mean one person lost the sheet. As the victim in my own story, it was always me!

So, I share this insight as encouragement for bed makers out there to use the experience as a calming, counseling session with yourself. Finding gratitude in the mundane daily activities….even making the bed…..CAN be a spiritually enlightening experience……

namaste