As I told the mammogram technician, I have all kinds of excuses…but I didn’t share them with her because she didn’t deserve it…anyone who can slap boobs around on a cold slab all day deserves a little peace and quiet!  During the squeezing, I realized that I had never had a mammo like this one.  I actually felt some tenderness as she squeezed the vices down on the breast then manually turned the little crank to get-it-just-a-little-bit-tighter.  There!  I’m sure manipulating all the different breast tissue in one day is pretty routine…but I’m guessing around 3 pm, any whining from the patient would get on their last nerve – then there is the fact that going deodorant/lotion free is required.  We wear deodorant for one reason, and around 3 pm, this could be unpleasant.  The job just would not hold much appeal for me….better than hog castrating, though!

For me, the anxiety of today’s Mammo was self inflicted.  I could not remember when my last mammogram had been.  I know I had it after my mother died in ’09 and not since.  Like I said…I have all kinds of excuses.  Once I decided I had to do it, I scheduled one in Des Moines for today.  We were going to spend the weekend and a couple of days visiting family and friends, visit the clinic this morning and head back home.  The weather killed that dream.  Yesterday I called around to find a place in Lee’s Summit to get it done, called insurance to be sure the Iowa insurance would pay for it here and sat around agonizing the results.  In my hypochondriac mind (handed down from my mother), I was pretty sure that because I had waited so long, I would have breast cancer…around the 2:00 am trip to the bathroom this morning, I realized the nonsense of that thinking and realized that mammos don’t prevent cancer, they just reveal that you have cancer – and by not taking care of myself with regular screenings just meant that I wouldn’t have caught it early.  That twisted thinking actually helped me to go to sleep.

I still don’t know anything…I have to wait for the requested comparison information to be sent from Des Moines…but at least he didn’t mark immediate followup recommended.

So we wait.

Until next time…..