The Oprah generation

I can plug my adult years into several categories…my categories may seem “simple minded” to some…your categories are your categories…it defines how you got to be where you are today..  If you are inclined to be defensive about labels, use a different word that will make it okay.   I think the pidgeon hole maturation categories are even more significant than the generational tabs normally applied to who we are.

I think I can simplify my life into talks shows.  I believe I really started to look outward during my Phil Donahue period.  I was quite surprised about the world out there…it was no longer all about me and my opinions..Phil Donahue helped me to accept different thought processes, the fact that everyone is different, and the fact that I may think you or your ideas are foolish and/or ridiculous..but they are your ideas and you have every right to them.  David Letterman took me to a very different place…I loved to laugh out loud and I really enjoyed watching things explode when they were dropped from tall buildings.  Oprah was my lifeline.  Thru the tumultuous years with children and an unperfect body and an immature marriage and a disfunctional childhood…I had permission to start thinking about it and start doing something about the things I did not like about myself.  This period also includes the weekly Dr Phil appearance on Oprah where I will NEVER forget the day I heard from him that you teach people how to treat you.  Along with what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, this statement…You teach people how to treat you.. has been my most chanted mantra…

The way we react to treatment by others affirms to them what will be accepted in the relationship.  At any time, it is possible to change the way you are treated by the way you react to the treatment.  In my mind, this goes right along with not trying to change someone into the person you want them to be…the actual trick here is to change yourself and the other person will change in relation to your behavior.  Of course, this doesn’t happen overnight …and can turn out disastrous or wonderful totally depending on your reaction and what you are willing to put into it.

There you go…it’s where I am today!

What’s with that generation?

Okay…I give up…how could it be Sunday night/Monday morning already…not that I”m complaining because it means I only have 3 more nights to work.  It could be the Facebook Pirates game which has become an addiction for me…good grief!!

I had an interesting email conversation with an old childhood friend…she was revealing some truths about life with her mother and it sounded very much like my relationship with my mother – afterwards, I began pondering what it is with my generation and their mothers…it seems I know very few 50 year old women who have fond memories of their childhood and their mothers in general…and I probably shouldn’t generalize but this just seems to be true with the women that I personally know and personally talk to.  Is it the generation…hard to believe because my mother is much older than most of the mother’s of my peers…also this friend of mine has a mother about the same age as mine.  I hope it is the hardships of their generation that caused them to be mean, acid tongued-bitter women..rather than just a typical mother/daughter thing.  Even though my daughters and I don’t see eye to eye on everything, we at least like each other…. Perhaps women who came of age in the 30’s have an axe to grind about the way they were brought up – although my mother was raised by her father and step-mother and a very conservative group of preachers and their wives..my mother is obviously narcissistic but I’m pretty sure if she didn’t have that personality flaw, she would still be iron fisted and no patience for change of any kind…I guess we will never know but I find it very sad that there are a bunch of over the hill post menopausal women still running around trying to please their mothers or as I do…just tolerate my mother until I can find peace in her death…

Those are my thoughts for this morning…some may find them offensive but they are my thoughts….

Until next time….