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I have often been taken aback during a conversation with a friend…or for that matter a casual conversation with a stranger…there can be one phrase that will mentally remove me from the conversation as I attempt to define exactly what was said, often as I slowly open a squeaky window into judgement. During my childhood Read more
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I have accepted the fact that I have a split personality…which means I plan for every eventuality while moving through life hopping on the “unplanned” train rails. We recently made a lifestyle change to lease an apartment in another state for a year…it was totally the right choice to make. I recognize that at our Read more
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until the morning I woke up at 67 plus about 333 days, that I realized that age is just a number. The designation of age gives us a benchmark of when we can start school, get a driver’s license, know more than our parents, should be married and have children, should/could retire…and the biggie….begin wondering Read more
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I think it’s a given. At some point in the formative years, all children, kids, sub teens, teens go through an awkward stage. And this phase may stay with us throughout adulthood. Often this stage manifests in aggressive and cruel behavior, wallflower and shy behavior, arrogant and I’m-better-than-you vibes or as insecure and fearful! then Read more
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When I was young, Sunday nights meant my mom would drill me on spelling words. Very often I would go to bed very upset because I would screw up. The matriarchal tutor would tell me to sleep on it and she bet I would remember how to spell them in the morning. She was right! Read more
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I’m learning to block the INCOMING shots fired from the field by surrounding my heart with invisible window screening and turning down the interior spotlights so the target is not as easily visible from the outside. That’s how I’m learning to say the word NO, and selectively choosing my path in the cacophony of people-pleasing Read more
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I’m struggling with just doing what I want to do today. I don’t even really know what I want to do today. I have finally arrived at a place in my life that I don’t have anything I am required to do. I am no longer responsible for keeping my daughters alive on a daily Read more
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I was left alone overnight and today. He left me the truck and said “you’ll be fine, it’s kinda fun to drive” which sounded rather manipulative but he was loving and probably didn’t realize he was talking to the intelligent part of my brain. This morning started out fine. I took a walk on this Read more
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This morning, I told the little white haired lady at the checkout counter that I was always happy to see her face when I pulled into her lane. Her eyes lit up with just enough of a smile on her lips that I knew her heart opened up. After I payed, I looked the obviously stoned sacker Read more
Happiness gently landed on my shoulders
Ninasusan 