I have no idea exactly where I was or what I was doing but a fellow that looked very similar to the one pictured above was running ahead of me through the timber. Opening my eyes I thought….well, I wonder what kind of day I should anticipate!
I am holding on tightly to a sentence in Rev Erin’s talk this morning. “Most often the world around me is a projection of the world within me”.
and a line in the anti-apartheid protest song by Peter Gabriel – Biko
“You can blow out a candle, But you can’t blow out a fire, Once the flame begins to catch, The wind will blow it higher”.
Apparently running through the timber following an orangutan was indication that my options were completely open depending where my monkey brain would take me!
Snowing again…below 0 temps again tonight…I was a non believer when I heard a polar vortex was going to include us here in Missouri….looks like we should be climbing out of it this week…I try to see it as nature, as beauty but it is hard for me …. the frigid temps especially. We had been having such a mild winter. The geese had stayed and the pond had not frozen…. but…..
The Easter cactus has its first blooms on.
….and I have His latest creation to remind me to be patient….the sun will come out! (And I’ll be bitching about the heat)
The title being in all caps is the reality of the disturbance in my head…I steal the term, disturbance, after hearing it used by a tv weather guy. Talking about the Canadian air mass sitting over the region for two weeks….”cold temperatures and smaller “disturbances” equals more chance for snow.
Seriously…disturbance? from the news media who normally has us hugging ourselves tightly while they scream shelter in place, lock your doors you are all going to die as our mental health experiences nervous breakdowns through the pandemic and the Trump administration.
It’s cold here. It’s Iowa Cold. Thankfully this morning when I got out of bed in my more than irritable mood, I realized I was feeling the same way I did for 55+ winters in Iowa. Mentally combining that with quarantining a year in the house….my CABIN FEVER is now in overdrive. There are seriously only a certain number of Words with Friends…actually strangers….games you can play in a day so I learned how to play backgammon. But it’s just not the same as what I had dreamed it would be…sitting in a pub in Grantchester playing the Vicar over a round of pints.
My Word for the year is “nurture”. Not feeling it today…Not a whole lot of positive going on right now….my benevolence has frozen over!
After a particularly emotional, loving and safe UVC Zoom group this morning, I spent some time in thoughtful meditation allowing the gratitude to settle in my bones.
In the 8 months since the COVID-19 virus was officially discovered (announced), we have all had to adapt to this new normal. We’ve been forced to slow down, pay attention and figure how to live 6 feet from each other. After the first few months or since the science based guidelines have been established…wash your hands, social distance and wear a mask…AND my personal rule DO NOT LET YOUR GUARD DOWN, I’ve not been overwhelmed by fear for myself. That’s not to say some days boredom hasn’t been an issue and often finding myself down in the rabbit hole with sadness and grief not being able to see my kids and grandkids. When our granddaughter was born at the end of March, not being able to see her in person brought me to my knees.
The bright light in this pandemic experience for Phil and me has been finding our balance on zoom outings with our tribe of friends at Unity Village Chapel. Meditations, prayer, arts and crafts, discussions with New Thought leaders. Book studies .. reading together and discussing, we meet for game nights, we talk, talk, talk. Just like the zoom gathering this morning…9 of us came together to discuss a food train for a Unity Village family with COVID, each of us sharing our personal pandemic feelings, fears, sadness and blessings. Supporting one another in Love and Wellness knowing that anyone in the group would wipe away the tears of another if we had been physically together.
It is not necessary to attend Unity Village Chapel or even live in the Kansas City area to find yourself in a “Brady Bunch”square most days of the week and especially Sunday mornings for the talk by Rev Erin and the after church discussion she hosts. All that is necessary is an internet signal along with a phone, tablet or computer. There is always room.
I decided quite awhile ago that I should either not ever drink again or should drink more frequently. I realize that nothing good could possibly happen if I drank more frequently….so I seldom drink alcohol. It really makes no freeking difference!
My beverage of choice was water during last nights Super Bowl game……for many reasons but foremost is that when the Kansas City Chiefs won…..(special note here to Trump….it’s Kansas City, MISSOURI) I did’t want to miss one single moment of the game! Nearing the end of the 4th quarter, when I realized the Chiefs were just that Damn GOOD, I physically got into the excitement…jumping up and down … stamping my feet …… yelling … clapping…just generally throwing my body around….
I woke up this morning with a pain in my lower back that immediately caught my attention just by opening my eyes. It sent me back to bed alternating heating pad and ice pack. Laying there, I recalled another occasion 20 years ago when a family friend’s son got married. I was drinking cocktails and found myself on the dance floor bumping hips with the groom’s father….not in the violent hip bump dance craze of the 70’s (which we both lived through) but just as two middle age adults who should have known better. It took me several weeks of chiropractic care and physical therapy to be able to walk without limping.
So I share this blog today as more of a Dear Diary entry. 1)I now know that alcohol probably had no effect on either event and 2) no regrets…I would have done nothing different in either exuberant display of joy. But most importantly…thank you to Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs for connecting your fans in this time of separation in our country. Chiefs Kingdom is connected and moving to the same drum beat! It feels so good! CHIEFS!
Sometimes impromptu gatherings are the best. There’s no time to plan and/or anticipate what you might have forgotten to do. Brother and sister in law came for a visit from Des Moines. It had been a couple months since we had seen each other in person…it never feels like it starting with the first hugs. I messaged our niece …our camping/kayaking niece….that they were coming and wanted her breakfast burrito recipe. She altered some plans to come also and offered to bunk at our house and make the burritos for her aunts and uncles Saturday morning….seriously! She’s the best! Then she asked if our daughter, her cousin might also be available….they said yes….so we ordered tacos and chips and cheese dip from the mex restaurant so we could just visit and no one would be stuck in the kitchen. At midnight, Christie loaded the aunts and uncles along with blankets in her car and we found a dark drive way to a construction site, layed out our blankets under the stars to watch the meteor shower….ho hum.
After breakfast burrito bunch…we headed downtown KC to visit the World War 1 museum.
Got in some great Italian food and spent the rest of the weekend with some HBO and talk therapy. I feel love!
3 years ago, we moved away from everything we have ever known which includes some besties. we moved 4 hours south to a house I love, moving out of the boonies and into a neighborhood which I love (for the most part). We made this decision because I had to have a new start and get away from the negativity and anxiety in my life and afforded us the opportunity to live close to and love fully our grandchildren. I do not regret the decision. With that being said, I miss family celebrations on holidays and birthdays. It is something I could change if I wanted to take the initiative…and if I were more self aware of how I was going to feel.
With that in mind….I spent my birthday, Mother’s Day and Memorial Day as if it was just any other day in my week. This week thinking about my daughters birthday coming up, I started feeling some depression settling in. I decided to try essential oils…I totally am committed to the value of using essential oils for healing…but I was skeptical that just breathing them in could seriously have any impact. I had tried using a diffuser and I love the scents but I decided to try what I’ve been reading. I put do terra essential oils…lavender, bergamot, ylang ylang and Roman chamomile in my hands and took whiffs then I rub the mixture on the bottom of my feet and put the mixture in my diffuser. Within 10 minutes I felt the funk beginning to lift. I did the same thing this morning. The change is remarkable. If you are suffering in your own funk or dealing with your own depression, I encourage you to give it a try!
And…a friend of mine posted This on FB this morning. A good read!