Maybe a day late for this one for Thanksgiving but so funny I about fell off my chair laughing………

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.

John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, ‘I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.’

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. He was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, ‘May I ask what the turkey did?’

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

This week has started out better….but better actually is a relative term….and speaking of relatives….

Mom and Aunt Frances are determined to move to mom’s house next week.  I’m doing my part in getting the house ready although mom is going to be really angry when she gets there.  She was upset that Aunt Frances wanted some drawers cleaned out so she would have somewhere to put her clothes…I’m telling you – my mother is a very narcissistic person.  I not only cleaned out drawers but cleaned out the closet, moved furniture around in several rooms so she can get her new scooter thru.  Each time I moved something, I thought – oh, this one is going to piss her off…but it had to be done and I guess if she has a little hissy fit – I can walk away…that is always my option.  Aunt Frances is totally putting her life on hold at 91 to take care of her so she will just have to get over it or die mad, I guess.  Aunt Frances deserves to have a couple of rooms to “live” in!!!

Went to the dog track in Council Bluffs on Sunday to celebrate Rhonda’s birthday.  I feel really bad for the dogs except when the race was finished, they  wagged their tails and got a treat of some type.  I guess they look well taken care of…but they aren’t living the life that I think dogs should be able to live.  They only want to love and please the master….I’m probably not really open on my thoughts here because I’m such a dog mama.

Yesterday I went to the doc…nothing wrong except I need to lose 20 pounds or she’s gonna put me on some meds for my middle age glucose and cholesterol issues…an ounce of prevention she says.  All the numbers come in within range but she says in 10 years, my odds for cardiovascular event are the same as for a man so my test range should be lower now????

Phil has a colonoscopy this morning.  He is sitting on the davenport watching hammer and nail shows trying to make it thru.  He’s hungry, empty 🙂 (sorry, honey) and looks pathetic…I’ve had a colonoscopy….this is the stage of the test that is the worst.  The actual roto-rooter is nothing compared to the 24 hour prep.  Lock up your women and children because I”m sure when we are out of the clinic he’ll be devouring anything that isn’t moving or nailed down.

Kate is home.  It is so nice to have her home.  Marley and Sierra had to share a bed with her, though….She has slept with Marley before on his first camping trip with us…but he has since officially moved in…

Read Jeff’s blog today – http://thedailygroundhog.blogspot.com/ “whatever happened to childhood”.  True and very, very sad!!!

Until next time……

They are killing me!  I came downstairs this morning after getting ready for work and this is what I found.  They were staring down the hall which I was about to make my way to leave them for a whole 8.5 hours 🙂  Their tactics are not fair!!!!

Later….

I guess I’m enduring the quiet time…the peace of understanding…the relaxation after the 3 fun weeks of travel….it just sucks!  I”m having days like those ones after Christmas.  You get all worked up…you decorate, you buy, you plan, you bake (okay…I don’t really bake), you cook, you look forward to seeing family,  you think about Christmas eve services and then in the blink of an eye it is over….I’m not an “oh, lets go out the day after Christmas and buy the bargains” because I have no money left.  Anyway…..

Mom and Aunt Frances think they are moving into mom’s house on November 28th.  Phil and I have been over there sorting and tossing and moving furniture and getting ready for the move.  I”m not convinced it will actually happen but that is the plan.  That depresses me because 1) I don’t think she is capable of moving home; and 2) with her living next door – it will be a big impact on my life because of 1).

Marley – the big boy had another seizure last night.  They seem to be petit mall seizures…he stiffins up and his eyes are vacant then he comes out of it and sleeps.  We had a poodle when I was a kid that had the seizures also – she ended up on dilantin.  Don’t know whether this is something I should worry about or not…the last one was probably 2 months ago – that is – unless we have missed them when we are gone?  Opinions anyone?  I would really like to hear from you if you have a dog with seizures!!!

Also – since the trip home from DC on the plane…I’ve had some wierd stuff going on with my head.  First, my bags under my eyes have bags.  Even after sleep, etc and my ears crackle.  and crackle and crackle…sounds/feels like there may be fluid but???  I was totally exhausted and slept most of the way home and only woke up when my ears would pop on the way up and down.  Usually I anticipate the plugged up ears and swallow.  Could this be causing me some problems???

Guess I”ll get back to work….hate to jinx us but is a nice quiet Monday at 911.  Seems like as soon as those words pass our lips all hell breaks loose!!! 😦 My partner is not going to be happy when she finds out it is my fault for having loose lips!!!

Until next time…..

Washington DC is probably one of my favorite places to visit.  Each time I go, I try to see something new…something I haven’t seen on previous visits.  I’m seldom disappointed in the choices.  We stayed with our friend, Karen, who is ending her duty at Walter Reed.  We visited by auto the military hospital complex and made a trip into the main hospital department where Karen has worked for the last 18 months.  I’m happy to report that the one little section we visited seemed clean and well maintained.  I was pleasantly surprised after the press given to Walter Reed facility in the past.

The only way to “really” visit DC is on foot and we hoofed it all over.  Georgetown was a fun day – we mainly walked up and down the streets in the residential areas and oo’ed and ah’ed about the architecture and the “way of life” compared to our life in the midwest.  In our travels, we visited the supreme court and the library of congress…the library of congress interior is probably not on most planned tours of the city but it should be.  Spectacular – it is awe inspiring –

The National Cathedral was on my “to do list” but Karen suggested that since we have been there before, this time we should see the American Catholic University Cathedral.  I don’t know why I didn’t take pictures.  Spectacular – it is awe inspiring.  Are you picking up on a theme here 🙂

The National Zoo….Elephants and Pandas are my favorites and the monkey exhibits are second to none….

The metro is very clean and I feel very safe at any hour of the day.  Washington DC folks are friendly and seem fit…in fact, I mentioned that you could tell, for the most part, those who lived there and those who were tourists by their waste size. 

As always, it is good to get back into my routine.  I’m doing laundry and spending a day with the dogs.  Their excitement and wet noses when we arrived home last night puts my life into perspective.

Until next time…..