The beauty, release and growth in ah-ha moments is breathtaking! It was a Monday night in June after a particularly difficult (for me) spirit group discussion, a nights sleep that I don’t recall dreaming, and morning pages with my green gel ink pen that the honest truth came vomiting out!
The actual details are unimportant to anyone else, the information to be shared is my unwavering belief that i have been living in fear, uncertainty about my future, and a level of angst about my past. The illusion that i am controlling my life is just an illusion and what I am really saying is I’m afraid of the unknown. So many scary and sad things have happened to me in the past that I must control my future in order to be happy and protect myself. All illusion.
One tool to use to aid in figuring this stuff out is morning pages. Committing to writing in long hand…not on the computer…3 pages every morning. These should be written in a binder or in a notebook that only you will see. My intention is to burn my current journal because there are things I’ve written that I NO WAY want anyone else to read. This should not be in dear diary form although there are no wrongs for what works for you to get the juices flowing. The is not a recollection of yesterday’s adventures, what you did or what you ate…although what ate you might be more significant. The only rule is you write down what is in your mind at the moment and then build on it because that is how the thoughts work in our head. 3 pages….every morning. If this process intrigues you, check out Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way”.
Until next time….
Ninasusan 
First off, love the green gel pen:). Makes all the difference. And second, that fear of the unknown, loss of control–I think it’s so universally human. I am practicing staying in the moment . . .
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This sounds like such a great idea. I want to try it. I have a habit of getting up early before anyone else, just for the peace and quiet. But I know that my thoughts too often drift to things I’m either not looking forward to or worried about. I’m sort of afraid to find out how bad I really do that. And also I hope I don’t drop dead and anyone finds it.
I zombie think in the morning, maybe a more intentional thought process, building on, as you put it, could be a positive change….
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I was very skeptical, I started in February…the first week I kept thinking I had to write about something. Then I figured out there were no rules except writing what is on your mind for 3 pages….one day I actually wrote the leaves are blowing in the trees … 4 times before I let go and wrote what I was thinking. It is an awesome crap cleaner for the mind!
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