Does wanting to be the favorite drive to achieve or is it a sign of insecurity. This thought started bubbling around in my head while sitting in an epson salt and soda bath this morning. Actually it was born while reading Facebook this morning…a comment relating to favorites. In the past, the desire to be favorite drove me hard in my friendships and my career. If I wasn’t the favorite, I was not trying hard enough.
I was probably my dads favorite…a close race between his mother and me. I think he would have pulled me out of a burning car first. My mother….ya…not so much…the dog was by far the favorite, then my aunt-her sister then herself…I have no idea where my dad and I fit on the favorite scale but when you know you are below the aforementioned you just give up. Thankfully I had no siblings because my psych would have been messed up…*rolling eyes!
I’ve obviously never been my own favorite because I’ve never been good enough….and there you have it….from the hot steam of the bath. Lennie told me epson salts would release toxins!
Until next time….
Ninasusan 
Wow! You hit the nail on the head!! That wanting to be SOMEONES favorite! That VALIDATION! It’s discouraging, frustrating, draining, tiring, painful, etc. one could go on forever! UNTIL I discovered that being someone’s favorite was actually without value! What is it about them that dictates who & what I am, my success as a person! Their perception is no more or less valuable than anyone elses and LESS than my own. My acceptance, validation, sense of who & what I am can come only from ME! I dictate, validate, & accept ME as ME! Be who you are, what you are and what makes YOU happy and accepted, that makes you a success
! YOU are your own favorite if you will! Achieve that and have no need to be validated by others who know nothing of your journey or what brought you to the here & now. Love yourself, be yourself. Attempting to achieve someone else’s ideal will only keep you on the “hamster wheel” and you’ll never get off!
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SO VERY TRUE! I’m figuring that out!
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Needing to be the favorite sucks and puts one in danger of being manipulated. I spent many years trying to get the approval of various religious “authority” figures and wasted all of them. Trying to get others’ approval is worthless. It’s far better if you don’t succeed, because if you do succeed, then you have to keep doing everything you did in the first place to get the approval. Ugh.
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Exactly!
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My brother John was the favorite too. And then my youngest sister. it’s probably a tie between me and the other sister. But I never really even thought about it until I was a grown up and realized it looking back. So I guess it didn’t affect me too much. I was my grandma’s favorite tho. Or at least she made me think I was. She died when I was 10 and I was like Well, I’ll never be anyone’s favorite again. Ummm….Wow, lightbulb. apparently I DID realize it. Huh! OMG, you have me thinking now. I might have to go write myself a blog about this.
And I have to say, you’re one of my favorites. I get you so much, I’m sure we’d be great pals in real life!!
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I think that about us very frequently!!!!
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It is funny because we joke, in my family, that my brother, John, was my mom’s favorite and I believe that was true but I never felt bad about. She loved us all.
You should be your own favorite because you are a wonderful person!
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